On a scale of nine to ten how terrible is the Australian version of The Hills going to be? Not to imply that The Hills has a reputation to uphold or that its integrity might somehow be sullied by a less compelling international spin off, but it was already pretty fucking terrible that show, and Australia’s Sydney-based answer to it, Freshwater Blue, feels like a less believable spin off populated by less attractive characters with less intriguing problems.
Spruiked as Australia’s first “real life drama series” and filmed on Sydney’s Northern Beaches, Freshwater Blue mines the same semi-scripted realism of its American older brother. Cynicism aside, this massaging of “reality” is what irks me most about these shows. But for those who’re prepared to go along with the faint possibility that people can be themselves in front of a camera crew, you might find something compelling in the exaggerated ennui of these tanned up young Australians. There’s a few of them too. According to MTV the series follows “12 friends living in the time between school ending and life beginning” which is strange because most lives begin in a maternity ward upon exiting a vagina. I’m sorry, I really am. But do people actually relate to that saccharine “life starts now” stuff? If so, you’re in for a treat! It punctuates every single aspect of the show. Says protagonist Nicola in a voice over: “Our future’s out there somewhere. But for now, life’s one big party“. Seriously, who talks like that? Urgh. Life’s one big real life drama yo. Mad drama.
Speaking of drama…The interpersonal conflicts, the lifeblood of the reality TV genre, range from arguments about who is more fake, out of control alcohol abuse and fears of infidelity. Crazy! Then of course, there’s the characters. I’m sure they’re individual snowflakes with mannerisms, ideals and fears unique to their own experience as a recent high school graduate who lives in the Northern Beaches but at this point they still feel like an indiscernible blur of bleach, salt water and abdominal muscles. Aside from the protagonist I think there’s a bitchy one, an alcoholic and a couple on the verge of breaking up. It’s all pretty standard but then at the end of the teaser some dude ends up in an ambulance! I think it might be the alcoholic but I’m not 100% positive. I’ll have to watch the premiere to find out.
Watch the teaser below…
‘Freshwater Blue’ premieres on MTV Australia Thursday December 2 at 4.30pm (AEDT).
Via MTV
