R.L. Stine fans, it’s time to celebrate. Throw streamers in the air, make out with each other, pat each other on the bum – whatever releases the pent-up excitement over the upcoming Fear Street Trilogy.
A first of its kind, Netflix will be releasing each movie of the trilogy in the span of three weeks, kicking off with Fear Street Part 1: 1994 on July 2, followed by Fear Street Part 2: 1978 on July 9, and Fear Street Part 3: 1666 on July 16.
That’s three week’s worth of spooky scares and scary spooks to gobble down.
So, what do we actually know about this trilogy besides the fact the movies are based on the books written by horror icon R.L. Stine? I mean, if you’ve already read them you’ll have a pretty decent idea (don’t spoil it for the rest of us or I’ll jokingly kill you for real), so let’s dive in with a brief description of each flick and what you can expect.
Fear Street Part 1: 1994
Oh god, 1994. I was two years old and hating the sound of balloons popping, while these poor teens are warding off genuine death threats.
Still reckon I had it worse though, the sound of balloons popping is peak horror. Why is it so damn loud?
I digress. Fear Street Part 1 introduces us to the trilogy and to Shadyside, which honestly you guys, just don’t live in a town that’s ever so direct about its intentions. If you live on Stabby Street you’re going to get stabbed. Live somewhere like Millionaire Lane or Anti-Depressant Avenue for the love of God.
Starring a slew of young guns the likes of Gillian Jacobs and Olivia Scott Welch, Part 1 will explore the absolutely heinous murders occurring in Shadyside, before a group of teens eventually discover they (and their town) are plagued by ancient evil assholes.
Fear Street Part 2: 1978
Now let’s travel back in time to the era of big hair (?), disco music (?), telephones with cords (?) and hairspray (?), as it’s 1978 in Part 2, baby.
Honestly, I know very little about the ’70s so what I listed above were all wildly uneducated guesses.
School’s officially done and dusted for the summer and all the idiots who still live there are heading to Camp Nightwing for a good old time full of friendly banter in the lake, a cute couple of grizzly murders, some volleyball, a couple of kids screaming bloody murder and topped off with an early night’s rest.
Again, if you live in a town called Shadyside, whatever you do, don’t go to a summer camp in the middle of nowhere. Best-case scenario you’ll get bed bugs and lose a friendship over a summer fling, worst-case scenario you’ll be looking down at your funeral pissed off that your crush didn’t bother showing up.
Fear Street Part 3: 1666
This is the instalment I’m most amped about, mainly because it’s the furthest period of time away from actually happening to me so I won’t get all teary and shaky when I watch it.
Sorry, sorry, I meant as teary and shaky when I watch it.
Going back to the origin of the ancient curse/evil/less-than-ideal plague, Part 3 will round out the trilogy by telling us just how Shadyside became the cultural hub of death and decay.
It’s in the name, people. Look at the name. Whoever named this town Shadyside had murder behind their eyes.
For the more squeamish out there, the good news is that 1666 was yet to see the invention of power saws or paper shredders, so you might simply be subjected to cute little deaths like an axe to the eye or a pitchfork through the taint.
You know, less gruesome deaths.
Alright, so we’re not all confused, here it is in simple form:
Fear Street Part 1: 1994 will be hitting Netflix on July 2, followed by Fear Street Part 2: 1978 on July 9 and Fear Street Part 3: 1666 on July 16.
Strap yourselves in.
