‘Fantastic Beasts’ Plot Drops: Wizards Persecuted By Those Darn Muggles

Now that the ‘Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them‘ train has well and truly left the station, new information about the next Harry Potter instalment has been coming thick and fast.

Yesterday, we got our first look at the thing, and we saw that it was good.

Warner Bros has now released the plot of the ‘Fantastic Beasts’, and it’s a huge step up from their original idea of ‘make a fake documentary about Newt Scamander finding magical beasts for his book’.

As EW reports:

“Eccentric magizoologist Newt Scamander (Oscar winner Eddie Redmayne) comes to New York (for a reason we won’t disclose) with his trusty weathered case. This case is one of those way-way-way-bigger-on-the-inside magical devices, and within are expansive habitats for a collection of rare and endangered magical creatures from Newt’s travels around globe. He discovers the American wizarding community is fearfully hiding from Muggles (who are called “No-Maj” in the States – for ‘no magic’) and the threat of public exposure is an even graver concern than in the UK (remember the Salem witch trials?). Fantastic Beasts is the story of what happens when this uniquely skilled English wizard travels to wiz-phobic America and a variety of his creatures, some quite dangerous … get out of their case.”

Current feels: YAY FOR THE PLOT BUT WHAT IS THIS ‘NO-MAJ’ BULLSHIT? Just… what the fuck, America? Why must you do this?

A-A-A-N-Y-W-A-Y, If that’s not enough Fantastic Beasts for ‘ya – and let’s be real, this is Harry Potter shit, and there will never be enough – character descriptions for the main heroes and villains were also released. Check ’em out:

Newt Scamander, who – like we already said – is played by Eddie R.

The previously-named magizoologist, an eccentric fellow more comfortable around beasts than man, and who travels to the States with his briefcase menagerie.

Porpentina “Tina” Goldstein
, played by Katherine Waterston

An ambitious employee of the Magical Congress of the United States of America (MACUSA), who stood up for the wrong person and is now relegated to a shit position well below her capabilities. Longs to fight for what’s right – *COUGH HERMIONE GRANGER COUGH SPEW WHAT* – and looking like proof that J.K. will never stop providing awesome female role models for young Muggles. 

Queenie Goldstein, played by Alison Sudol

Tina’s sister and roommate, and a legilimens (one who can read minds, similar to a certain velvety-voiced Potions Master). She’s also a  ~*~ free spirit ~*~, and possibly Fantastic Beasts’ answer to Luna Lovegood.

Graves, played by Colin Farrell

Powerful Auror, and right-hand man of the American wizarding world’s leader. (Is the leader a president? EW seems to think so, but Cornelius Fudge wasn’t the Prime Minister, he was just Minister for Magic, idk.)

Jacob Kowalski, played by Dan Fogler.

A Muggle – nope, we WON’T be using ‘No-Maj’ until strictly necessary – who’s introduced to Newt and the wizarding world and is also the first ever Muggle main character. Not sure how to feel about this one, tbh.

Mary Lou, played by Samantha Morton.

The film’s main villain – the narrow-minded leader of the fanatical Second Salemers, a group looking to “expose and destroy wizards and witches”. OH DEAR LORD PLEASE LET HER SOMEHOW REFERENCE SARAH PALIN OR DONALD TRUMP.

Credence, played by Ezra Miller.

Mary Lou’s troubled adopted son, and THAT’S ALL WE’VE GOT SO FAR, FOLKS! *waves*

via EW.