If concerned parents weren’t sufficiently terrified with the prospect of their shitty children locking themselves away in their rooms for three months to dedicate their lives to punching prostitutes in the head, burning sports cars and flying stolen helicopters into skyscrapers, this will scare the shit out of them.
While the feverish reaction to the international release of Grand Theft Auto V has been equal in intensity to that of Tony Montana (and its addictive qualities comparable to that of Bogotá’s finest ego dust), a Queensland EB Games store has been forced to apologize after it drew a thematic correlation between the release of the game and the illicit substance currently coating the streets and toilet seats of Sydney, cocaine.
To celebrate the release of the game upon its global launch Monday night staff from a Southport store in the Gold Coast set up an unauthorised point of sale display in which customers buying the game were met with implausibly dense lines of cocaine, later determined to be sherbet, a confectionery item which may look like cocaine but differs drastically in function to the drug in that people don’t buy sherbet for ten times the price it costs everywhere else in the vague hope that someone will sleep with them.
“Regrettably, one of our EB Games store locations in Queensland set-up an unauthorised display within the store in support of the launch of the Grand Theft Auto V video game,” a spokesperson said. “The display included a white powdery substance that appeared to be some form of an illegal drug. We can confirm that the powdery substance was ‘sherbet’, a type of fizzy candy, and at no point did the store attempt to give any of the fizzy candy away.”
“This was an isolated incident, and we apologise for any offence this may cause.”
None taken. Now how do we inject this disc?
