The facts have presented themselves, folks. It is quite clear that TV presenter David Campbell & his wife Lisa are raising the reincarnated Princess Diana, in the form of their 4-year-old son, Billy.
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In case you missed the original yarn, David wrote a truly disarming column for Stellar magazine over the weekend, insinuating that his son is, in fact, the reincarnation of Princess Diana. How did he come to this conclusion?
Well, his kid keeps saying really concerning shit like “I have two sons” and mentioning his brother John – Diana had a brother called John who died a year before she was born, so this is insanely obscure information a 4-year-old really shouldn’t have in his brain. Unless, of course, he’s the reincarnation of the People’s Princess. Which he absolutely is.
Since we now know a popular Australian TV personality is raising Princess Diana 2.0, we have some QUESTIONS. Lady Di was an enigma and a half, and also was a sassy binch who I reckon would totally spill as her reincarnated self, tbh.
David, Lisa – we’re waiting for the answers pls.
1. Is The Queen Secretly Pickling Herself With Gin
The Queen should really be dead by now, no? Given we know she loves a liquor bevvy – is her secret that she’s actually pickled herself inside-out and is, in fact, the keeper of the secret to long life?
2. Did You Eat From Ornamental China With Your Face On It
There’s so much royal paraphernalia out there, so do the royals ever – for shits and giggles, obviously – eat their mashed peas and apple sauce on their own faces? I like to think yes. TELL US, BILLY.
3. Who’s The Spiciest Royal Binch?
My money is on Margaret but I like to think Liz is spicier than she seems, especially after bingeing The Crown. Surely there was someone in that family that Princess Diana would sit down with for a bitch sesh over some mulled wine.
4. Did You Steal Any Royal Jewellery After Charles Fucked You Over?
I would have, tbh. Fuck ’em, I’m taking the diamond-crusted crown from 1245.
5. Also Did You Secretly Wee In Charles’s Wine Ever
I know you all think this is weird, but hear me out. Spitting in wine – that’s for when you’re 50% mad. Weeing in wine? Superior level of revenge. Again – 100% would.
6. Give Us The Tea, Is Charles Harry’s Dad?
You ALL know the rumours around Harry – that his father is secretly some other guy I CBF Googling, some socialite toff. Now, let’s remember that red hair skips generations and so on, but it’s spicy goss and I wanna bloody know. BILLY. TELL. US.
7. And The Ultimate – Who Did It.
Princess Diana’s fatal car crash has been the source of conspiracy theories pretty much since the day it tragically happened. There’s rumours Queen Liz was behind it. There’s rumours MI6 did it. Mates, there’s an entire Wikipedia page for them. If we get one question, Billy, it’s this – WHAT HAPPENED.
Also just wanna let you know Princess Diana that ILY and you were amazing and the best royal ever, even better than little Prince George.
