So, The Average Day For Queen Liz Involves Getting Right Royally Ratshit

No matter what side of the republic/monarchy debate you sit on, the one constant that runs through every Australians blood is at least a passing admiration for Queen Elizabeth II.
The long-reigning monarch of the British Empire reached a point many moons ago where she no longer gave a remote shit, and the magnificent old bat has been gleefully riding that wave of no fucks ever since.
Her steely resolve is even more impressive given the fact that the badass herself (who is as tough as old boot leather and glares at us constantly from the other side of the coin) spends the bulk of her days flitting about various official royal engagements which, thanks to the starched collar that is official protocol, have had what little joy they might’ve possessed well and truly sucked out.
So how does one even begin to deal with that?
By maintaining a rip-roaring drinking habit, as it turns out.
A profile of what a Queen actually eats during a regular day has revealed that Lizzie abs-bloody-lutely loves a tipple, and isn’t even remotely afraid to let it show.
The story goes that Liz starts her day off with a gin and Dubonnet over a heckin’ heap of ice with a bit of lemon in it. The gin is Gordon‘s which both has the Royal warrant and keeps her in touch with the common man (a Hendricks before noon? What is this, France?). This goes down the royal gullet prior to lunch. When the food cart comes rumbling out of the kitchen, Lizzie washes that down with a glass of wine.
Later in the evening, after maintaining that very light buzz – enough to keep the smile warm and reflexive, lest the tabloids ever catch her glowering at a pleb – the Queen sips away on a bone-dry martini, before raising a flute of champagne to another successful day presiding over the Empire.
All up, that’s around 6 standard drinks per day. 42 per week.
So anytime someone looks down at you just because you cracked open a fresh cask of Colonel Stanley’s finest even though it’s not even 3pm yet and despite the fact that I KNOW YOU PUT VODKA IN YOUR WATER BOTTLE AT WORK SO YOU CAN STOP IT WITH THE ACCUSATORY GLARES, JESSICA… remember this:
The Queen’s got your back. Cheers, Liz!

Source: Esquire.
Photo: WPA Pool/Getty.

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