It’s week 3 of The Bachelorette friends, and tonight’s tasty ep of Sophie Monk & The Blue-Balled Men, saw one of our fav moments of the season go down: INTRUDERS BABY!
Before we meet the four newbies set to stir the testosterone filled pot, we head to the MANsion (geddit) and Oshy throws the lads a solo date card and it goes to the singularly worst named bloke in the game: 24-year-old Apollo.
The theme of the date is old-fashioned romance and the deliciously ripped magician and Soph hoon off in a ye-olde car. BRRAAAAAAAHHHHP.
*puts out thumb to hitch a ride with this babe*#BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/u7ZVysLJ5S
— Channel 10 (@Channel10AU) October 4, 2017
Jesus the gun show on this kid. #bacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/oWqDUtiKGm
— Osher Günsberg (@oshergunsberg) October 4, 2017
https://twitter.com/Ms_Clairey_d/status/915496328330854400
Come on Sophie, if you want to date a magician there is only one choice… #TheBacheloretteAU #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/k69Tr8TypB
— Josh Chapman (@chapmanjosh) October 4, 2017
Anyway the date goes boonta, Soph is mad keen and the main takeaway is that Apollo is afraid of butterflies, which only makes him more perfect in our eyes.
I WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE BUTTERFLIES APOLLO I SWEAR IT BEFORE THE OLD GODS AND THE NEW.
Oh Apollo. #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/0lugRGhb35
— Zoe (@Lunaamikaelson) October 4, 2017
He was scared of butterflies!!!!
STAHP#BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/pCJ2UjwD3n— Jessica Hutchinson 🌈 (@rarelyupdated) October 4, 2017
“Do you want me to be a scary butterfly or a pretty butterfly?” – questions only asked on Queen @sophiemonk‘s season of #BacheloretteAU🌹
— TV WEEK (@TVWEEKmag) October 4, 2017
Apollo is scared of butterflies? Oh sweetie, what did a butterfly DO TO YOU? #BacheloretteAU
— Michelle 🐿💨 (@MichelleMackey1) October 4, 2017
#BacheloretteAU
How did it end up like this, it was only a kiss …open up your eager eyes, cause I’m Mr Bright side pic.twitter.com/EfPz5uK6Ny— Dame Kittness (@SoftKittyWarm) October 4, 2017
Also they danced, had a heart-to-heart, a sneaky pash and he got a rose. WHATEVER, BRING ON THE DILFS.
😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/Z4rSSUFbe5
— Channel 10 (@Channel10AU) October 4, 2017
He’s got the magician’s touch hasn’t he? #bacheloretteau pic.twitter.com/lIa52Kk0mI
— Osher Günsberg (@oshergunsberg) October 4, 2017
Finally it was indeed Daddy o’clock, and all the wee little baby men lined up whilst the intruders flew in on a fucking helicopter for some A-grade dick-swinging. (Metaphorical… unfortunately).
First up is Guy, 37, and he’s a fucking classy as shit former Brit you guys!
Did his teeth just glint in the sunlight?😲 Meet Guy! 37, Optometrist, New South Wales. #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/sUDFS6m1Hj
— #BacheloretteAU (@BacheloretteAU) October 4, 2017
A FOREIGN DADDY DOM #BacheloretteAU
— kel knight (@hyobvious) October 4, 2017
‘He’s got the accent, which is …’ #bacheloretteau pic.twitter.com/yoHnbRkEnZ
— Lolo (@Lorenishie) October 4, 2017
He’s 37?! WHO IS HIS DERMATOLOGIST?! #Bacheloretteau
— Ira Snave (@IraSnave) October 4, 2017
BRITISH DADDYyyYyyYyYyyYY #BacheloretteAU
— kel knight (@hyobvious) October 4, 2017
Intruder numero two is AJ, also 37, he’s a chef and he’s trying to rock that whole shiny bald head combined with shitty little chin-strap beard thing so I’m putting him on the maybe pile for now.
G’day AJ! Intruder number 2 with the personalised menu! Yum!#BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/eWqiVLl7ht
— Channel 10 (@Channel10AU) October 4, 2017
Theory: AJ is Matt Moran in disguise. #BacheloretteAU
— Caitlin (@caitiejayne) October 4, 2017
AJ looks like every other contestant’s dad. #BacheloretteAU
— John Gloveman (@SPSSS) October 4, 2017
https://twitter.com/benpobjie/status/915503393203904512
Next up is Paul, 39, and he’s a mature age uni student (omg they’re always the worst in tutorials) with five kids, one of which who also has a kid, making him a grandfather. Holy shit! Unforch he’s quickly considered a dud by most:
Paul is Intruder #3! And that was 5 kids not kittens Apollo.#BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/cOmRlQaMPS
— Channel 10 (@Channel10AU) October 4, 2017
The guys are in awe of Paul, who has proof that he’s used his penis at least five times. #BacheloretteAU
— Jo Thornely (@jothornely) October 4, 2017
He looks the guy from the room #BacheloretteAU
— 𝔐𝔢𝔬𝔴 🌈✨𝔐𝔢𝔬𝔴 🌈✨𝔐𝔢𝔬𝔴 (@Rhimeowmeow) October 4, 2017
Paul…mmmm… #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/BwzHFx2jpQ
— CourtneyCourts (@renrut22) October 4, 2017
Anyone with hair like Paul at that age must have a foot fetish. #BacheloretteAU
— Bon Jorman 🇺🇦 (@bonjorman) October 4, 2017
We’re overdue for an ad break so you just know a twist of some sorts is coming up and would ya know it, the final intruder is someone from Sophie’s past! Shit. A. Dick.
His name is Stu, he’s 44, and they met last year in a “fleeting” moment where Soph reckons she “stood him up” and hot dang he is winner material, hundo percent:
Meet Stu! 44, Publican, New South Wales.🤵 #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/NgfcsIQ0uS
— #BacheloretteAU (@BacheloretteAU) October 4, 2017
Stu seems adorable #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/GXV7tSWMZv
— Zoe (@Lunaamikaelson) October 4, 2017
Aww… that look Sophie gave as Stu walked away! 🌹#BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/y9q0LGIZNd
— Nicole Williams (@NicoleLouise87) October 4, 2017
Stu got winners music y’all! #BacheloretteAU
— Polly Maeve (@PollyMaeve) October 4, 2017
I feel like Stu has this already #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/RJWCDoPtl7
— Haley De Martin 🧼🤲 (@Halesdm) October 4, 2017
Young and old came together for a round of bougie bicycle polo (like horse polo but on bikes) and I’ll be real with you, it was suuuuuuper boring and nothing happened. Trust me, it was meh².
In order to ramp up the simmering tension between the newbies and the OG squad, the producers plied on the alcohol ahead of the elimmo and everyone was heaps mature about it:
Original guys’ mature response to intruders #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/VtExBbu1cP
— feliz navidud (@DesignedToFade) October 4, 2017
https://twitter.com/benpobjie/status/915508947410345984
https://twitter.com/kholly265/status/915508935091613697
https://twitter.com/Angelic_Logan/status/915508893265969152
The dudes are SO much more jealous on this program than the women – they are acting like Sophie is their property. Its gross #BacheloretteAU
— Polly Maeve (@PollyMaeve) October 4, 2017
Finally it was rose time, with four heads on Sophie’s gilded chopping block, and oh how very sad etc. Bronk, Zagnor, Ferret and newbie Paul (nice 30 seconds on TV dickhead, lol) went home. (Ok it was actually Harry, Brett and… the guy who dabbed? Idk, look it up.)
https://twitter.com/AndyProcopis/status/915512598287618048
People however were mostly shitty that Jarrod, stage 5 clinger and dude who’s seconds away from his head exploding in pubescent rage, is still around:
https://twitter.com/laurellemcc/status/915513244701294592
https://twitter.com/Kristy_Lee_/status/915513051134140417
#BacheloretteAU quick preview of Jarrod in the next episode: pic.twitter.com/BjzcsMWA1F
— S.B (@SurfdogTV) October 4, 2017
Wow, a really divisive personality who is getting a lot of airtime and attention from the public is still around? It’s almost like the producers WANT him there or something…
Anyway, that’s all, see you back here tomorrow for more Sophie shenanigans.
