Episode three of ‘Sophie Monk Presents: Sophie Monk’s The Bachelorette, starring Sophie Monk‘, went down tonight and Australia continues to agree that this is the best dang edition of Bachie ever, and it’s almost purely because of Miss Monk.
We bow before thy Queen of thy Potty Mouth. #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/oB9JtnYoGa
— #BacheloretteAU (@BacheloretteAU) September 27, 2017
“I’m fluent in potty-mouth” is the reason Sophie Monk is the greatest of all humans. #BacheloretteAU
— Jo Thornely (@jothornely) September 27, 2017
https://twitter.com/AudreyVMarsh/status/912986457098219523
Kicking off the ep we saw Soph take hunky surfer bloke Luke out for a beachside solo date in which they discussed losing their virginity (standard), donned giant sumo-suit-esque body condom things for a surf and ate cheese pre-snog.
Um so Luke lost his virginity at 17 to a 26/27 yr old women. Is that legal? #thebacheloretteAU #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/s5EQQxeRMT
— Bachie Banter (@BachieBanterPod) September 27, 2017
Surfing Sophie style, the best way to ensure you won’t drown! 😉 #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/ok5ZFUmynh
— #BacheloretteAU (@BacheloretteAU) September 27, 2017
https://twitter.com/kplyley/status/912976088258691073
“Stop asking, just kiss me” Sophie Monk is literally all of us women when we like the guy #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/BwhKn8diGh
— Wonderland (@MFWonderland) September 27, 2017
Luke eats the cheese, brings the feels and goes in for the kiss
*All of Australia claps it’s not Jarrod or Sam #BacheloretteAU— Steph Wag (@sometimeseasame) September 27, 2017
Sophie is so awkward on her dates and I am so grateful to finally be represented on screen. #BacheloretteAU
— Kara Schlegl (@karaschlegl) September 27, 2017
Cool, great, awesome, the hot nice dude got a pash AND a rose. Solid.
The main bulk of the episode however was the group date in which Sophie went full nepotism, employing what appears to be her entire immediate family to help scrutinise these dudes who want to give her the D.
Mumso and Dad went undercover as the driver’s ferrying the six lads (yes they have names, no I don’t remember them yet, it’s episode three I’m getting there) to the date and lil’ sis Lucy was similarly sleuthing it up as the hippie painter guiding them through their crafternoon:
Sophie’s mum is ready to crash that car if she hears any disrespect from the back seat. #BacheloretteAU
— mrj_cooks (@mrj_cooks) September 27, 2017
https://twitter.com/JakeChatty/status/912980593788436480
Lollllll Sophie’s sister pretending to be an art critic just accurately called Ryan a creepy stalker. This is amazing. #BacheloretteAU
— J.R. (@Straffo) September 27, 2017
https://twitter.com/nemo_phd/status/912981489540784128
Ellen connection into everyone drawing #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/5ky6rtQHd8
— Jessica Archdall (@JessicaArchdall) September 27, 2017
https://twitter.com/nobodysmuppet/status/912982159564062720
And then BLAMMO, the subterfuge was dropped and the blokes were informed of the con, with Mum, Dad and Sis getting the opportunity to drop the dirt, with Sam in particular shitting his daks:
Is there anything more pure in this world than Osher’s gotcha face? #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/Jn8sdlWHm6
— Jo Thornely (@jothornely) September 27, 2017
https://twitter.com/covermeinbagels/status/912984760619642880
Osher: “And Andrew and Sandy are Sophie’s mum and dad”
Sam: #bacheloretteau pic.twitter.com/PmQZp7HA3w— AtomicNicky (@AtomicNicky) September 27, 2017
Sophie’s Dad to Sam right now… 😡#BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/la2aTWfl69
— Mel Cornford (@melcornford) September 27, 2017
Sam when he hears Sophie’s dad was their driver #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/li7t8y0uOn
— Diana DJ (@DianaDJ7) September 27, 2017
Sam realising that he talked shit in front of her dad #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/Xc3zIHgntc
— Meg (@avengermegs) September 27, 2017
https://twitter.com/JakeChatty/status/912985992029626368
Next up was the standard “SUIT UP” segment of every Bachelorette ep, the cocktail party, which tonight was entirely focused on the rivalry between stage five clinger Jarrad and foot-in-mouth aficionado Sam:
#BacheloretteAU Sam & Jarrod having it out on the couch. What? What’s the opposite of a bromance?
— Kenicha Hatten (@KenichaHatten) September 27, 2017
https://twitter.com/mdesign218/status/912988774384123904
Jarrod and Sam, you aren’t doing this fight right… #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/4TTBHbpisx
— CourtneyCourts (@renrut22) September 27, 2017
https://twitter.com/phoebeacummings/status/912989129977106432
Jarrod and Sam’s heart to heart…#BacheloretteAu pic.twitter.com/GZwKxXss9R
— BackFlank (@thebackflank) September 27, 2017
If Jarrad and Sam could somehow take each other out that’d be tops. #BacheloretteAU
— f ❤️🔥 (@pluckyloser) September 27, 2017
Watching this convo between Sam and Jarrod makes me want to crash through the damn screen and rescue Sophie. #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/5NWK9wrytP
— Kara Schlegl (@karaschlegl) September 27, 2017
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
Finally we got to the rose ceremony where OH SHIT the lads were told that three (3!) of them would be packing their bags and shot into the sun.
Despite Sam and Jarrad both coming across as huge douchebags who one hundo do not deserve Soph, they both dodged the bullet with Pete, Jefferson and Eden getting punted, three guys who are definitely guys who were on The Bachelorette and that’s about all we can say about them:
the three dudes that didn’t get a rose #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/eejzGpCIsG
— Hankley (@swayley) September 27, 2017
Who even were those guys? I have to write a blog for work. Jefferson, Eden and who? Didn’t catch his name. FML #BacheloretteAU
— Jacqui Reed (@JacquiReed_) September 27, 2017
https://twitter.com/Sim_oneL/status/912991304673402880
https://twitter.com/LeithMarshall/status/912991267193102336
https://twitter.com/WSpark98NZ/status/912991239120629761
The exact moment @oshergunsberg tries to remember who the hell those three guys are #bacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/WicWD4vkbq
— feliz navidud (@DesignedToFade) September 27, 2017
We lost The Beardy Breakdancer, Sleeping On The Couch Guy and some Other Dude I Can’t Name. #bacheloretteau
— Nikki (@randomlilnikki) September 27, 2017
How is Lleyton Hewitt’s illegitimate love child with Kim Clijsters still safe? #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/6TBykna59M
— Elliot Dean (@temerityguy) September 27, 2017
BYE BOIS ENJOY BEING SINGLE 4EVER LOL.
Righto, catch youse tomorrow, same Monk-time, same Monk-channel.
