Because I am something of an optimist and also a bit of an idiot, I was hopeful when Jonesy and Cheryl formed an ad-hoc couple from the ruins of their disastrous former pretend marriages on ‘Married At First Sight‘.

After Andrew got ditched by Lauren and Cheryl got saddled with an extremely obnoxious, Trump-supporting “entrepreneur“, it was just such a relief to see the two of them hit it off after finding something common (they both sung weird songs about salt and pepper? Yeah, I’m not sure about that one either).

Little did we know, though, that this was really the start of something terrible. The couple were plagued by problems: the rest of the group didn’t accept them at first, Cheryl’s dad hated Jonesy with a passion, Cheryl and Jonesy wanted to move at different speeds making things very awkward, and, worst of all, Jonesy is kind of a huge dick.

As has been heavily documented, Jonesy decided the best way to express his frustration was to talk shit about her in front of a bunch of people before denying that he had ever done so in front of that same bunch of people. It takes a pretty special kind of person to decide to try and belittle a woman for making accusations at you about something that not only very much happened, but was also captured on camera. “Special” is a word which here means “bad“.

Things got more even out of control on the weekend, with stories surfacing of Jonesy waking up to find another dude in bed with them and some very hazy details about him getting stabbed in the neck with a stiletto by one of Cheryl’s friends. Shit is getting bloody wild.

Cheryl has now responded to these events, telling that the second man was indeed just a platonic gay friend (no sexy threesome, unforch):

“It’s all blown up — to clear the air, I brought back my gay best friend who Andrew knows. He had no problem with him. Andrew moved over to one side of the bed. I was in the middle and my friend was beside me. It’s all a stab at me to say I’m not who I am portrayed on TV. It’s just stupid little things.

“My friend was sleeping downstairs for all of the night and he came up at nine, 10 o’clock. [Andrew] didn’t have a problem at that time. I find it funny how he does now. I would never just bring a guy into my bed — that’s just ridiculous.”

She also told them that (while there was indeed an incident), if someone got stabbed in the neck with a stiletto, she was unaware of it:

“It wasn’t a crazy night like that at all. I went to the toilet, I came back and everyone was getting along […] But if it did happen, I wish he told me, we could’ve dealt with the situation. His reaction wasn’t the best. There was an incident that he reacted to and then he got kicked out and I was confused. It was an incident — I wasn’t there. It’s something 18-year-old’s deal with — he’s 38 in the club. It’s stupid.”

Unsurprisingly, the couple has opted not to continue the quote unquote “experiment”, probably on account of the fact that the two of them fucking hate each other. A wise decision, I reckon.


Photo: Channel 9.