Mates. We’re fucking oracles. Sound the bloody alarm because there are some extremely intuitive oracle psychic seers in the house. Am I just saying terms I don’t entirely understand that lie within the realm of “person who knows things from the future slash can determine someone’s intentions with merely a glance at their eyes”? Yes. Is it also Monday morning at 8.20am and your girl woke up because a really snorty possum was having a large snort fest on her roof last night? Also yes.
Here’s what we’re oracle-seer-psychics about: Charlie from Love Island – the sad reject from last night’s re-coupling episode – has the hotsy mctotsies for Sophie Monk. If you can’t cast your minds back to last Monday (lol who can, I don’t even know what I ate for dinner last night), Josie (my Editor) and I said THIS about Charlie from the premiere ep of Love Island.
MEL: Charlie looked at Sophie Monk with some serious crush eyes don’t you think?
JOSIE: Yes! I hope they end up together like Gretel Killeen and Saxon after Big Brother.
ARE WE FUCKING SEERS OR ARE WE FUCKING PSYCHIC SEERS, MY GUYS – because today, Charlie’s waxed lyrical to Daily Mail about how much he froths Sophie Monk.
‘I’m shocked that she’s still single,’ he said, before saying she was exactly his type and the 16 year age gap between them (he’s 22) was a non-issue.
Charlie’s love interest on the island (besides our babe of a host) was Kim Hartnett, who is basically the poor man’s Sophie Monk anyway.
Sadly, Kim selected some other guy I LITERALLY know nothing about because BORING last night, and then Millie decided she’d rather save old mate Justin The Kangatarian instead, leaving Charlie left outside alone, but it’s cold out there, and I wonder if she knows how it really feels. To be left outside alone.
For her part, Sophie told the TODAY show she wouldn’t bone a contestant.
‘Not the contestants, that would be weird! It would be a bit weird if I was like, “Caroline you stole my man, and you’re out!” I’d win wouldn’t I?’
Butttt Charlie’s not a contestant anymore, is he Soph? I say free pass, tbh.
