I ride a bus every day to work. You might be a Train Person, or a Tram Person – maybe you’re even a Ferry Person (weird, stop that). But if you also ride a bus to work, you know the strategy that is figuring out the least shitty seat.
[jwplayer pOY47Nlb]
Now, when a bus is full, and it’s raining, and the bus driver has chaotically decided not to switch the air con on so you’re breathing in everyone else’s stale air, there is no good seat on that beast.
But there are still BETTER seats. And on a cool, semi-full bus there are great seats. The thing is, we all have different opinions. I polled my office to work out the top five spots on the bus.
1. Next To The Back Door
The seat directly opposite the back door was a hot favourite with my colleagues. It’s also a personal fave of mine – in this seat, you can easily roll out the doors before the driver shuts them prematurely, so you don’t have to awkwardly squeak “back door???” or simply accept a future where you just never exit the bus.
Another benefit – it’s got a lot of leg room on most bus models.
“I take the seat directly opposite the back door, because I’m very tall and it’s the only seat that doesn’t force my knees into my chin,” says my extremely tall colleague Cam.
2. A Few Rows From The Back, Right-Hand Side
This comes from my colleague Vanna, with the reasoning “because no one looks at you and no one tells you to move.” This is a strong point – on a packed bus, anyone near the front will have to stand up for the elderly, pregnant, and less mobile. This is the right thing to do – but who wants to actually do it?
Better off sitting WAY down the back, because the people who 100% need seats will not make it down there. They’ll score a seat way earlier on, meaning you get to hunker down with your book/tunes and avoid eye contact with anyone.
My counter-point here – if the bus gets chock-full, you’re fucked if you need to get off. You absolutely will have to choke out a “back door!!!!” at some point. Also, the back is the stuffiest in terms of fresh air.
3. In A Single Seat
I’m a BIG fan of this opinion from my colleague Liv, who says she picks single seats “so I don’t have to sit next to anyone.” MOOD. I hate people! People are the worst! Especially on the bus where you either have to become one with the wall, or perch half your ass off the seat.
Two counter-points here, however. The first is only the most modern buses have these single seats. You might find them on older models, but they’ll be red for those who need seats, and always get snaked from you by a little old biddy. Also, if you sit here and the bus ends up full you’ll absolutely have someone’s balls in your face due to the height of the seat.
4. Right Up The Front
This to me is chaotic evil. The front is the WORST spot to be? But I must include it because it was mentioned. My colleague Georgia prefers the front seats “so I can get away from people as quickly as possibly.” Again – mood. But also, Georgia, these are always the seats where you a) get shafted for an old person b) get shafted for a pram c) get shafted just because someone who could maybe pass for elderly if you’re squinting gives you a death stare.
5. Behind The Glass Window Bit Near The Back Doors
This is MY new favourite. Here’s why – you have a bit of a barrier against gross stale air. You’re kind of breathing just your own stale air, and that’s fine with me. There is no science to this, it’s just a vibe I have on the bus. Also, no one can whip their grot hair over their chair in front and into your face. AND you’re still near the exit – a quick spin on the pole and you’re outta there.
The final verdict? There is no good seat on the bus. But anything near the back doors seems to be the general vibe.
