It’s time, ladies and gentlemen. Just like poor Sophie Monk herself, we’ve dealt with six weeks of fuckboyish behaviour, dates so awkward it hurt our eyes to watch, insanely ripped bodies, a bizarre pot plant controversy and many, many man-tears.
And now, it’s come down to the very last episode of The Bachelorette, and two men vying for Sophie’s heart: Jarrod “Stage 5 Clinger” Woodgate and Stu “Actual Daddy” Laundy.
Although it’s kinda super obvious that old mate Stu is gonna take this one out, I still reckon this is the greatest incarnation of The Bachelor or Bachelorette that we’ve been treated to. Ever. Casting the constantly delightful Sophie as the Bachelorette was the most inspired decision and we hope whoever came up with that got a nice fat bonus.
Anyway, it’s finale time. And what is a super-hyped television event if it doesn’t have its own drinking game?
So get the Prosecco prepped, gather your fellow reality TV tragics and send sincere apologies to your liver in advance. It’s going to be an eventful night.
TAKE A DRINK WHEN…
- Sophie stands on a beach looking wistful yet hopeful
- Osher Günsberg says “journey”
- Sophie insists she just “came to find love”
- Sophie says something very Aussie to remind us all she’s just a bogan
- Stu drops into conversation that he was married before
- Jarrod says he loves Sophie
- Stu wears baggy pants
- Sophie looks awkward when Jarrod says he loves her
- Stu seems unsure because he’s “got kids to think about”
- Sophie swears, is censored by Channel Ten
- Jarrod mentions that he’s a “bull”
- Stu tries to talk with Sophie’s tongue down his throat
- Sophie appears nervous as she looks at a mirror
- Someone cries
- Sophie tells a contestant that she loves them
NECK AN ENTIRE BOTTLE IF…
- Jarrod wins
Bottoms up, bitches.
