Ahhh, Australia. Home of the kangaroo, the koala and the kurious behaviour that astounds anyone who’s not familiar with our kulture.
Apologies for sacrificing grammar for the alliteration, personally I think it’s worth it.
Let’s get right into it though, shall we? Here are just a few traditions that you best believe are exclusively Aussie.
1. Burning your pits with Lynx Africa or Impulse
I might have finished high school a while ago, but the smallest waft of Lynx Africa transports me back to the locker rooms immediately. (My colleague tells me that in the girl’s change rooms, it was Impulse.)
Personally, I don’t mind the smell at all – I just think it’s how people, namely students, apply it. As in, they’d rather die than smell like anything other than 400 litres of deodorant. (Said colleague can also confirm the kind-of-warranted-but-not-really abundance of Impulse, too.)
Not judging, just a quiet observation.
And look, I know Lynx and Impulse exist in other countries, but I doubt they absolutely drench themselves like we feel we have to down here in Sweatsville.
2. Rounding out your sentence with an ‘ey’
There’s no language quite like Aussie language. Whether it’s the classic ‘yeah/nah’ combo, abbreviating any word down to three letters, or, perhaps the most iconic of the lot, capping off your perfectly eloquent sentence with an ‘ey’.
Not only does the ‘ey’ add pizazz and emphasis, it’s a divine way to exclaim to strangers, “Yes, I can form proper sentences, but I simply can’t help but tack on a half-word because that’s the Australian way”.
3. Holidaying in Kuta to prove you’re ~cultured~
Why is it that us Aussies visit every other country in the world before exploring our own backyard? It’s super weird to be overseas and have someone ask you what our most iconic landmarks are like, only to have never seen them yourself.
First stop: Kuta. Does hanging out with the same people (read: Aussies) with a different backdrop really equal culture?
Rhetorical question.
4. Picking up a choccie milk & pie from the servo as a normal meal
I could be wrong, but choccie milk and a sauced pie from the servo feels like an exclusively Aussie thing.
Obviously that comes with it the lil’ tomato sauce packet that, for some reason, excretes from the middle once popped. Who thought this was practical? That predictable squirt explosion is hard to get off the car seats, I tells ya.
If you thought it couldn’t get any more Aussie than this, Dairy Farmers has gone and produced Arnott’s Wagon Wheels and Caramel Crowns-inspired milk. Yep, even more Aussie goodness and nostalgia injected into an already-Aussie-as-hell tradition.
2019: what a time to be alive.
5. Giving up your TV rights during cricket season
Hopefully I’m not alone with this one, but come summer, you best believe I had to give up all my TV time so my dad and brother could stare at a riveting game of cricket for six hours a night.
In hindsight, that was a good thing. Because I wasn’t planted in front of the TV, I got quite good at climbing (and falling out of) trees.
So thank you, cricket.
