Peering into the future is a funny, precarious thing. Some people attempt to do so by using a crystal ball, while others use tarot or tea leaves. However, one woman from Somerset in the UK attempts to predict the future in a method that involves asparagus. Yes, the green vegetable that makes your piss smell.
Jemima Packington refers to herself as the world’s only asparamancer. She believes that she can predict future events by grabbing a bunch of asparagus spears, tossing them onto a flat surface and analysing how they land.
She has been featured on television and radio shows around the world with her unique gift.
Jemima has been reading asparagus in this way since she was a child, following in the footsteps of her aunt who read tea leaves.
“My technique has not changed and I still cast the asparagus spears and interpret the patterns in them,” she told the Daily Mail.
“Seeing the patterns for me is instantaneous, possibly that is because I’ve had years of practice.
Jemima says that her prediction accuracy rate ranges from 75-95%.
“I go through my predictions each year and think ‘yep, that’s happened, yep, that’s happened’.
“Occasionally I get one slightly off, where I haven’t quite read it correctly, but I’m never far off. I predicted Boris Johnson would become Prime Minister before he did and everyone laughed their socks off.”
She also claimed to have predicted the Queen’s death after the asparagus fell in the shape of a broken crown.
However, there have been a couple of incorrect predictions. For example, last year Jemima claimed that the Lionesses, England’s soccer team, would win the Women’s World Cup. Sadly for the Brits, that did not happen.
Thankfully, Jemima understands that her talents are a bit strange and doesn’t mind people having a laugh as long as she’s bringing a smile to people’s faces.
“I take what do seriously, but I don’t take myself seriously,” she says.
Jemima is still going strong for 2024 predictions so without further ado: Here are the most relevant predictions from the world’s only asparamancer in 2024.
2024 asparagus predictions
- There will be big regime changes throughout the world on a huge scale.
- Members of the Royal Family will get divorced.
- People will become sick of celebrity antics and culture.
- Great Britain won’t do very well at the 2024 Olympics.
- The events in the Middle East will reach a breaking point.
- There will be a death among world leaders and the United States will get their first female president.
- Public figures will be revealed to have profited from illegal activities.
- A bunch of rich television personalities will lose their jobs.
- Influencers will lose their influence “as people realise it’s the real world they live in that matters.”
Oooooft there you go. Can’t wait to check back on this list in 2025 to see what actually went down.
Also, in case you’re wondering, when Jemima is done making her asparagus predictions she pops the spears in the microwave for five minutes, covers them in butter and eats them.
Delicious!
