If there’s one thing we can rely on, it’s the fact that Amy Schumer can and will be completely NSFW at any given time. Including, apparently, her own wedding. And more specifically, the wedding vows.
The 36-year-old comedian pulled off a surprise wedding to chef Chris Fischer last week, and appearing on her friend Nikki Glaser‘s podcast she (over)shared some details about the big day.
[My vows] sucked. I thought mine were good, I wrote mine in like, 20 minutes. I was crying when I wrote them, but his blew me out of the water so hard. In my vows I go, ‘But I promise I’ll keep going down on you, even though everyone tells me I won’t. And his were like, heckling me too. He was like, ‘The other day I lost a tennis match and you called me a fucking loser.’ It was all like, awful shit.
If anyone is going to talk about giving eternal blowies in their wedding vows, it’s Schumer, right?
According to E! Online, the newlywed also told Glaser that she’s loving married life so far, saying “I’m a wife as hell”.
But it’s still like, a novelty. Somebody went to sit next to [Chris] and he’s like, ‘My wife is sitting here,’ and then I got back and he was excited to tell me that he said that. I just have been really overusing it to a degree that’s insane. Like, when it’s completely uncalled for.
The pair tied the knot a week ago at a beachfront estate in Malibu after a few months of dating. The ceremony was attended by a bunch of A-list celebs including Jennifer Lawrence, Jake Gyllenhaal, Chelsea Handler, Larry David, Jennifer Aniston and Jerry Seinfeld, who no doubt all appreciated Schumer’s classically vulgar vows.
