Look, I know French Cinema is often experimental and ahead of its time, but I really need someone to explain to me why a whole ass adult was cast to play a 5-year-old in this chaotic Celine Dion biopic.

Aline, an unauthorised biopic that premiered at Cannes Film Festival, is apparently just absolutely cooked in every way imaginable.

The film follows Celine Dion’s life almost beat for beat, but has a disclaimer in the beginning saying it’s all fictional – which is why the lead character is named Aline.

Since the biopic is unauthorised, the movie couldn’t use any of Celine’s music – which means all the songs were made just fort he movie. Aka, they’re made up. Totally brand new. Absolutely fictional.

And if the whole situation couldn’t get wilder, the director-actor who plays Aline, Valérie Lemercier, plays her in every stage of her life – including when she is a child.

Yes. A 5-year-old Celine Dion knock-off is played by a whole adult woman. A 57-year-old woman, to be exact.

“Shrunk to Hobbit size and Facetuned into near-oblivion, Lemercier scampers, preens and unnerves,” New York Times writer Kyle Buchanan said of the batshit movie.

“I’ve never seen anything quite like it: Not ‘PEN15,’ not John C. Reilly at the beginning of ‘Walk Hard,’ not even a fully grown Martin Short playing a psychotic 10-year-old in ‘Clifford.’

“As a cinematic presence, Preteen Aline looks less like our main character and more like she’s ready to terrorize Vera Farmiga in the next ‘Conjuring’ movie.”

This is giving me Renesmee from Twilight vibes, but like, weirder.

I do want to the point out that the movie isn’t trying to be serious with it’s, uhhh, unique casting choice. It’s supposed to be comedic and campy –  though maybe the results were creepier than anticipated.

Aline doesn’t have an Australian release date right now, so it may be a while until we get to watch it. And despite not wanting 5-year-old Aline to become my new sleep paralysis demon, I’ve gotta say I’m a little disappointed. I mean, this movie just seems like exactly the kind of thing I need to watch via Netflix party this lockdown.

You can watch the trailer for Aline below.