Just Gonna Say It: A Goofy Movie Is High-Key The Greatest Disney Film Of All Time

Disney animated feature films represent one of the most spectacular bodies of work the medium has ever seen. From Beauty and the Beast to The Lion King to Aladdin to the revolutionary Fantasia, the House of Mouse’s strike rate with animated flicks is something to be revered. And I am here today to tell you that despite all those classic films’ splendour, all their pomp and circumstance, all their awe-inspiring magnificence, they are all left clean in the dust by the despicably underrated 1995 masterpiece A Goofy Movie: A staggering achievement in the field of stories about a horny teen dog.

A musical, a road movie, a coming-of-age film, and a family drama all wrapped in one, A Goofy Movie goes infinitely harder than it ever had any right to.

Chronicling the journey of Goofy and his angsty teen son Max as a planned Scared Straight school holiday trip turns into a wild journey of discovery that ends with the miraculous gatecrashing of a globally televised PPV concert event, A Goofy Movie eclipses all other Disney films past, present, or future. It’s not even a close contest. The Lion King may have its emotional Shakespearean spine. Aladdin may have presented middle eastern culture in a way no other western title ever dared. The Little Mermaid may be the greatest story ever told about a human trying to fuck a fish. But only A Goofy Movie attains the Herculean heights of film’s true greats.

Those who recognise this objectively true fact will no doubt cite the film’s two centrepiece songs – I2I and Stand Out by the in-universe Powerline, both sung in the human realm by Tevin Campbell – as key arguments. And they’d be right to do so.

Stand Out is a towering piece of pop music; what should have been a global hit that defined the mid-90s that instead lives its life shouldering one of film’s true rare gems.


I2I, on the other hand, slaps equally as hard. It’s audacious, really, for two songs in one movie to whip such all-encompassing sack. It’s almost rude, how hard these songs go. You’ll never see the likes of these two jams in a film again. It is pure lightning in a Disney-shaped bottle.

But while I2I and Stand Out are clearly the, well, stand outs of the film’s soundtrack, it’s supporting acts are nothing short of a Broadway-worthy symphony.

The movie-opening After Today in particular is a stage-thumping banger that rivals any Broadway hit in any era. Seasons of Love pales in comparison. One Day More gets left in the dust. My Shot can kiss After Today‘s ass as far as I’m concerned.

Is it possible to retrospectively award a Tony to 25-year-old animated movie? Everything’s made up, so of course it is. And it should be.

It should also be noted that, for all the achievements A Goofy Movie crams into its taut 78-minute running time, providing a very confusing sexual awakening for an entire generation of 90s kids. Say what you want about it being a bit weird to feel a strange way about animated dogs, but Max? He’s a good looking dude. And his love interest, Roxanne? Unquestionably the hottest dog in the history of cinema. An incredibly sexy pooch.

While Disney itself is revered for its animated output – and its a reverence that’s rightfully deserved – A Goofy Movie stands alone, peerless, atop the highest flagpole on the Magic Kingdom castle.

It’s high time its standing was publicly recognised as such.