Well done! You’re in a relationship so you’ve probably got a gift coming your way this February 14th! In addition to the ones you get for anniversaries, birthdays and Christmas! Aren’t you one lucky bugger?
Now, people have different expectations when it comes to presents, especially when it’s one revolving solely around your sweet and heartwarming love for each other. Some will be happy with a card expressing the feelings their s/o has for them (Hello, emotionally-stunted lover, this is me). Others would feel ripped off. Everyone’s different. Everyone has different budgets too.
Try not to be an entitled brat if you don’t get what you’re expecting. Remember that the presence of a committed and honest relationship is your life is present enough. That being said, there are definitely ways to heighten the chances of you getting what you actually want, rather than something you’ll wear every once in a while to appease bae.
How? It’s an art. Keep reading.
Drop them hints
Can you really get pissy at bae for getting you something you don’t want, if you don’t make what you want known? The short answer to that is oh honey no, unless they get you something illegal, immoral or something secondhand that’s not of the vintage variety. (Then you should probably break up with them.)
I digress. If you’re in a relationship with one another then I assume you spend lots of time together. An ad comes on for Swarovski‘s new Valentine’s Day collection? That’s a good chance to say, “Oooft, I love that necklace. I really need a new one now that my other’s broken.” You’re at a friend’s place for dinner and they whip out a NutriBullet? Make your fascination with the product known. “We should really get one of these bad boys, they’re incredible.”
Pick your timing
Now, you don’t really want to be dropping any of these hints any time before February. I think at our age no one’s really thinking about their life admin (sorry, that’s kind of what it is) that far in advance. If you do happen to say something a little earlier than expected, just make sure you have a followup mention in place to really drive the desire home. Extra points if you can whack one in the day that they “just need to go pick up a few things at the shops“.
Tell a mate
Trust me, your partner is probably already stressing out about what to get you, so when they do go to your mates for help, make sure they’re ready and armed with the right info. (If you have a full-time lover, I’m hoping they are part of your social circle on some level.) Don’t fluff about. Be very specific about what you want because there’s no room for ambiguity when you’re already risking the filtering of info via Chinese Whispers.
Talking finances isn’t sexy and it never will be. But the only way to ensure the gift-giving isn’t unbalanced is to be upfront about how much you’re spending on one another. So, for example, when you both settle on $50, you have no right to kick up a stink about not scoring a shetland pony. If your partner puts it on you to decide the spending allowance, make sure what you pick is just enough for them to purchase what you want. Takes another element of the guesswork out.
Express disgust over items you don’t want
Think about it. When someone says they don’t want to settle down, what they usually want is to lap up their sexual freedom. When someone says they’re not in the mood to go out tonight, what they’re really saying is that they want to order UberEats and binge watch the entire SATC boxset for the seventh time. There’s no arguing this completely legitimate point.
So, if you don’t want yet another box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day (no judgement here) maybe you should talk about how you think you’re going to try and be a lot healthier this year. It is only a month after all that new-year-new-year nonsense, so you could just get away with it naturally.
Just tell ’em, aye
If you’re in a relationship I’m guessing you’re pretty honest with one another. If you’re not one for the element of surprise, you could always just tell them what you want and save any completely unnecessary heartache.
When it comes down to it, remember that Valentine’s Day is a two-way street. You’re on the chopping block of disappointment too, pal.