At some point in our working lives, we have all had a moment when we just wanted to quit in a brazen and memorable fashion. You probably didn’t because you’re a professional person who is able to hold in their emotions until that emergency dish sesh with your nearest and dearest.
But sometimes, you just feel slightly jealous of that particular brand of legend that gave zero cares about the consequences and damned ‘the man’ in truly spectacular ways. Here are a bunch of those people, most with different names, because they have better jobs now.
Someone I once knew worked at a fairly large retail chain and was fed up with his boss (who was also the designer and owner). He worked in the flagship store which was also where they did the designing. The open design studio was upstairs, with the retail shopfront below and a grand staircase between. Picture a warehouse-like space all converted and hipsterish. When he landed another job, he stood at the top of the stairs screaming down to his boss in the busy store so everyone would know exactly what he thought of him…intense.
-Kassia
I had a mate who worked in a bar and quit by writing on the companies clock in/out book: please accept this as my formal resignation effective immediately.
– Blair
-Eamon
I was 20 and had just started working at some luxury high-end label and it was boring as batshit. No one ever came in and when they did they didn’t want to be served by me because they didn’t know me and I could literally only move within a 4 tile radius for 9 hours a day.
One morning I was like, I simply cannot enter that dungeon one more time. So I called in sick saying I’d tripped down the stairs and hurt my knee. I missed all my shifts that week claiming my leg was still too sore. When it had been way too long to still not be at work, I said I had gone to the doctor and my x-ray results revealed I had a rare case of ‘premature knee arthritis’ and that I could never do a standing up job ever again.
Thinking back I’m sure they would have just accepted a simple ‘I quit’ email too.
-Nat
A friend found out her boss was having an affair after he was working late one night when she heard him (he obviously thought everyone had gone home) with another woman in his office. He was also married to her friend. He saw her leaving so the next day he offered her a bonus if she didn’t tell his wife. She told him to fuck off, resigned and definitely did tell his wife what had been going on. Needless to say, he is now divorced and my friend is in a much better job.
– Sarah
At my old agency, a girl named Bianca just walked out without notice after our Art Director verbally abused her for no reason. This Director abused, or randomly threw things at people so often, that leaving the job like this became quite common. In honour of the first person to quit this way, we called it ‘doing a Bianca’.
-Lucy
I worked at a cafe while I was at uni. On a particularly busy day with just me and the new girl, she just disappeared halfway through the day, never to be seen again. It was only her first shift.
-Kate
It wasn’t particularly dramatic, but when an old boss suggested a few self-help books that could be of benefit to me, I gave her a buzz to quit the next day. I was on contract so I didn’t need to give notice. The day after she called me asking where I was. When I reminded her that, you know, I quit, she replied, “Oh I didn’t think you were being serious.”
-Chantelle
