Bellissi-NO: Starbucks Wants To Make Coffee & Olive Oil Happen Bc They Hate Italians, Clearly


Starbucks, who seemingly has the world in a mediocre coffee chokehold, has taken things one step too far — they are trying to sell Italians coffee with olive oil in it.

For god knows what reason, Starbucks has launched a product called Oleato — an olive oil infused espresso. Oleato (meaning oiled in Italian) was introduced at an invitation only dinner held at Starbucks’ flagship Milan store, which hosted the likes of Anna Wintour and Lizzo who gave a performance.

I took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% both disgusted and intrigued by Oleato. 

As per the Sydney Morning Herald, the product has already been trademarked by Starbucks, which is fairly audacious considering Oleato hasn’t been released to the wider consumer market yet.

The thing that really tickles me about this though is that the idea came from Starbucks’ founder himself, Howard Schultz. He said it came to him when he was travelling through Italy last year. It’s giving out-of-touch-filthy-rich-boomer-who-thinks-he-knows-better-than-actual-Italians. Don’t you think if coffee and oil were going to be a thing, it might’ve happened already?

These could be my famous last words though. People said Starbucks would flop in both Italy and Melbourne due to their already thriving coffee cultures — but those people had to eat their words as the chain has still achieved quite a lot of success. Maybe Oleato will become the new oat flat white? However if that happens, I want to be put to sleep… permanently.

So does it actually taste good?

Well, the SMH weren’t actually allowed to ask anyone for their opinion due to “respect for their [the customer’s] privacy and Starbucks experience.”

But I suppose it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand that it would taste like an espresso, with well… olive oil. It’s not exactly groundbreaking stuff.

I would try it myself, but I still have a slight will to live.