Being lugged over to your grandparent’s house fortnightly was a rite of passage for many Australian kids. Every time, your nan/pop would excitedly answer the door armed with their trademark treat. For me, it was Kopiko coffee lollies c/o my Theo Papou (Great-Uncle), a gruff Greek man who would throw the individually-wrapped “treats” at us kids like weapons.
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It seems everyone’s grand-olds had a similar ungodly outlook on what constitutes a “lolly”. From savoury treats that are basically garnishes to an obscene amount of tasteless sugar, I’ve rounded up the most heinous treats people have told me.
1. Olives
“Olives. but I fucking love olives so it was actually a treat.” – Matt
2. Bocconcini
“My grandmother used to give me bocconcini balls for treats. She has not stopped – every month she sends me a care package of household items so that I don’t have to spend money on paper towels etc, and there’s inevitably always a jar of bocconcini in there.” – Steph
3. Candied Ginger
“My nan would always be eating candied ginger. She loved it. Seven-yr-old me absolutely did not.” – Brad
4. Lion’s Club Mints
“My nanna on my dad’s side once gave me a Lions Club mint in the car and it was so strong that I inhaled out of shock and it got lodged in my throat. So I was choking in the back seat while driving through country Victoria.” – Courtney
5. Kopiko
“These lollies taste like coffee, which is delicious if you’re a fully-grown adult who enjoys a caffeinated bevvo. When you’re six years old, they taste like poison – but my loud complaints didn’t stop my Theo Papou from giving them to me every time I saw him.” – Mel
6. Almonds
“My grandma used to give us what I now know are called “activated almonds”, but essentially were almonds soaked in water.” – Aiden
7. Musk Lifesavers
“My nan would give us one pink lifesaver and make us have a competition to see who could make it last the longest… obviously it was a ploy to keep us quiet, but it worked!” – Phoebe
8. Dutch Salted Licorice
“Every time I’d see my grandparents, I’d be given a treat of salted licorice, which is a) fucked and b) (now) delicious.” – David
9. Steam Rollers
“Both my pops gave me Steam Rollers, which are very strong mints and not fun lollies, whenever I would visit them as a tiny kid. It’s funny because my maternal grandfather was a Polish immigrant and my paternal grandfather was very Aussie, but they were brought together by a common interest: good old Steam Rollers. Even though they weren’t delicious I grew to love them because they reminded me of my pop/s. I wish they still made them so I could reminisce about my idyllic childhood which mainly consisted of a burning minty mouth.” – Josie
10. Boiled Onions
“My nana used to make a habit of boiling onions whenever my family would come over.” – Jack
11. Fisherman’s Friend
“My Papou always had Fisherman’s Friend on him and would regularly dole out one of the horrifically intense lozenges to us grandkids. I’m not even talking about the intense mint flavour – the OG menthol kind that would clear your sinuses and probably burned a hole in my stomach.” – Mel
12. Werther’s Originals
“Mine always gave me an illegal quantity of Werther’s Originals.” – James
