Howdy tops and bottoms, do I have some exciting news for you. We all know it’s hard to have a Gaytime on your own (and it’s a hard time when you’re not on your own), but fear not, for we will be lonely at night no more. Streets have put Golden Gaytime Bites on the shelves, and I’m already ice-creaming.

Truly no ice cream is more elite and more fueled by homosexual tension than the Golden Gaytime. It’s the only product simultaneously loved by the gays and handcrafted by straighty 180s. Union in its purest form. Collaboration at its finest.

Now we can revel in the fact that we no longer need to have a stick inside to enjoy our Gaytime. It’s not all about penetration after all.

Thank Gay Jesus, because Golden Gaytime Bites have hit the shelves of Woolworths as of today. Are they paying me to gas them up like this? Absolutely not. Am I gay and love ice cream? Yes.

The brand new Golden Gaytime Bites come in resealable little bags, and are packed to the rafters with 16 little ice cream noms inside. So basically everything you know and love about a Gaytime just… in a more addictive form.

Truly the only downside about this product is that it came out after Mardi Gras weekend. I could have launched Golden Gaytime Bites at passing homosexuals all night. Hell, their mouths were open anyway, so they would catch them just fine.

“With a brand new format, we’ve been able to create the perfect size for more Golden moments than ever before,” said Golden Gaytime spokesperson Annie Lucchitti. (Damn, I want that job title).

“For those moments when you’re after ‘just a bite’, a treat yourself moment or have a few friends over to watch a movie or the footy, ‘Bites’ are exactly what you’re looking for!”

Miss Lucchitti, none of the Gaytime consumers are coming over for footy, let me tell you right now.

You can snag up some Golden Gaytime Bites for yourself at a Woolies near you. All you’ll need is $11 on hand and a couple of mates to tackle around with.

Enjoy your Gaytime!