It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas; Mariah Carey is charting again, Starbucks is flogging candycane-flavoured beverages, the whole shebang.
But in amongst all of the normal, lovely Christmas junk that gets flogged every year, I have found something that is simply too cursed, even for the most festive people.
I present to you: gingerbread hummus.
THIS is the war on Christmas pic.twitter.com/v6aN7HQeXX— um mouse (@derridalicious) November 23, 2020
Now, dessert hummus isn’t exactly a new idea, with brownie batter and cookie dough-flavoured dips popping up on the reg. But there’s something about gingerbread hummus that just hits different.
It truly does just feel like a war on Christmas.
The gingerbread hummus was first spotted in stores last Christmas, but with the festive season fast approaching, the internet is already giving it a big, fat “nope.”
I imagine this is what your parents would give you if they were too lazy to make a gingerbread house, or even by the cheap, shitty gingerbread men from Coles.
“Here little Timmy, dip some Jatz biscuits in here and shut up,” your mum says.
Seriously, who is asking for this? And if you are, why?
At worst, this is an attack on Christmas, and at best it’s a poor man’s Biscoff spread.
It seems to me that Gingerbread Hummus is just a poor attempt at this: pic.twitter.com/Oxw73g5fSO— One Matt among many (@0xMatt) November 23, 2020
There is simply no need for this abomination.
‘Twas The night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a chickpea was stirring, not even a mouse. https://t.co/HX3bmhCBKv— hend amry (@LibyaLiberty) November 23, 2020
It’s not even December yet and we are already being bombarded with cursed Christmas food that Santa simply would not eat. I mean it when I say, this is not what Mariah Carey was singing about when she said all ‘I want for Christmas is you.’
For the love of God, make it stop. Please. I am begging you.