When answering the door to get your food, there’s always those 2 or 3 seconds of silence when the delivery person gets the meal out of their bag to hand over to you – that ol’ “yep, great, cool… thanks, okay, cya” chestnut.
It’s that very moment I want to analyse today, because it’s a social phenomenon that’s underrepresented in the media, and I will no longer stand for this injustice – us humans with social anxiety deserve to order our food with a sense of calm, thank you very much.
Get the cue cards ready, because here are some small talk ice-breakers to help you survive that very moment.
In fact, feel free to use these ideas as conversations-starters in general – on a first date, perhaps, or with your dog, or your partner’s parents. Leggo.
1. Thank you
First thing’s first – you need to thank them for being incredible humans and bringing food to your door. That’s an extremely noble deed and we are undeserving.
2. Weird extreme sports
There are some absolutely cooked sports out there in the world because humans, themselves, are absolutely cooked. Extreme ironing is a thing, for example. Google it – it’s literally so fascinating. The first (and only) Extreme Ironing World Championships were held in Munich in 2002. Wild. I say we bring it back, pronto.
View this post on Instagram
Anyway, weird extreme sports are fun to bring up and will guarantee a cute moment of giggles between the two of you. Let me give an example –
Delivery driver: “Hey, is this your ord-“
You: “Have you heard of toe wrestling?”
*Moment of emotional connection*
3. Wild Olympics sports
While we’re on the sports train, it’s also worth mentioning the Olympics. We love the Olympics.
Did you know that town planning and solo synchronised swimming were once legitimate Olympic sports? Yes, town planning (I can’t) and solo synchronised swimming (are you synchronised with yourself?). These are some facts that are sure to brighten up you and your delivery driver’s respective life journeys.
4. Animal facts
“Did you know a snail can sleep for 3 years?”
“Guess what? Some turtles can breathe through their bottoms.”
Everyone loves weird animal facts, and these bad boys will surely illicit an enthused response from whoever you’re talking to.
5. Carly Rae Jepsen
Mentioning Carly Rae is an absolute must. Anyone who doesn’t know Carly Rae Jepsen absolutely needs to, and anyone who isn’t a Carly Rae Jepsen fan is simply in denial. After all, her third studio album, Emotion, is one of the most iconic pop records of our time, and every person you meet at your door deserves to have their ears blessed. They’ll thank you later.
Exhibit A:
Froth.
6. How are you?
Or maybe just, you know, be a kind person and ask them how their day is going…
I’ve just ensured that your food delivery will forever be insightful and inspired. You’re welcome. Start making your cue cards and head over to Deliveroo to start orderin’. Bon appétit.
