PEDESTRIAN.TV's Selfish Saturday presented by The House of Angostura will be going down at Melbourne's The Timber Yard on Feb 22, from 10am - 5pm with a special Cuervo Spritz Club session from 5pm - 8pm. Click Here to snap up tix now.

It’s safe to assume there’s at least one person in your group who drops a line similar to, “No tequila for me please, the last time I had tequila I ended up on a cruise ship with no less than seven warrants out for my arrest”.

Oh yes, there’s one in every circle.

But, what if I told you that tequila shots are not the optimal way to consume this glorious liquor? Methinks a lot of you basic bitches of Eastwick overlook the actual taste and are more focused on ramming that wedge of lime in your gob for sour relief.

Prepared correctly, tequila can be your new fave drink to savour. Here are a few ways to prepare a killer drink.

1. The Space Margarita

Admittedly, I swiped this recipe (and quite frankly, most of the others) from Jose Cuervo’s recipe page, but what can I say? They make a mean cocktail.

Plus, they’re all relatively simple. The Space Margarita is literally two ingredients:

  • 1 part x Jose Cuervo Especial Reposado Tequila
  • 3 parts x Jose Cuervo Margarita Mix

Chuck ’em in a glass and you’ll be rocketed to the unknown abyss that is space.

2. Tequila Sunset

You’ve heard of the Tequila Sunrise, but have you caught wind of the Tequila Sunset? Well I hadn’t, and I thought I was being creative, but it turns out it’s an actual drink. Jeez, can’t a guy be inventive these days?

Regardless, it looks like a tip-top bev:

  • 45ml x Jose Cuervo Tradicional Reposado Tequila
  • 15ml x grenadine
  • 100ml x orange juice
  • Ice

Fill up the glass with everything except the grenadine (pour that baby in last). Once it’s all mixed, drizzle the grenadine over the top, and it’s supposed to replicate the sun setting.

I think.

3. Dry Tequini

There’s no denying that a martini is one of the classier looking cocktails, but gin or vodka are tired options in my book.

Instead, switch out the vodkin (vodka/gin combo, keep up) for tequila and you’ve got yourself a drink.

  • 75ml x Jose Cuervo Tradicional Silver Tequila
  • 20ml x dry vermouth
  • 1 x dash of Angostura aromatic bitters
  • Olive (will not accept lemon)

Pour everything into a cocktail shaker, shake it about, slide it into a schmick glass and pop in the olive for good measure.

4. Island Spice

This Island Spice recipe intrigued me as it calls for a couple of jalapenos, aka my Achilles’ heel. You could put jalapenos in anything and I’d be elbowing people out the way to get to the front of the line.

  • 60ml x  Jose Cuervo Especial Reposado Tequila
  • 30ml x pineapple juice
  • 15ml x lime juice
  • 15ml x agave
  • 2 x jalapeno slices
  • Pineapple wedge

Squoosh the jalapeno ever so slightly in the jar, then pour in the rest of the ingredients. Shake it about and voila.

The incredibly scientific method of squooshing helps bring out the heat of the jalapeno, in case you were wondering.

5. Tequila Spritz

There’s no wrong way to make a spritz, so I’ll let you get creative with what you want to add to it, but this is the bare bones of it:

  • 25ml x Jose Cuervo Especial Silver Tequila
  • Fruit juice of your choice
  • Enough prosecco to reach the rim

Now, some people put a citrus twist in there, others put sherbet or watermelon juice – there really is no wrong answer.

If you’re panicking a tad because you have the creative capacity of a goldfish in a coma, a Jose Cuervo pop-up is coming to our Selfish Saturday festival to help you create the ultimate tequila bev.

As well as the pop-up, there’ll be a fuck-tonne of music, talks from the likes of Flex Mami and sexologist Chantelle Otten, plus nude drawing, food trucks and more than I care to remember.

You can scope out the entire festival at pedestrian.tv/selfish, and it’s going down at The Timber Yard in Melbs on Feb 22.

See y’all there.

Friendly reminder to be 18+ if you’re gonna (responsibly) bev.

Image: Instagram / @vanessahudgens