Look, there’s no sexy way to talk to your new partner about STI testing. In saying that, there’s also nothing sexy about having an STI. See where I’m going with this?
While the STI talk is almost as dreaded as the ‘where do you think we’re heading’ talk, or even worse, the ‘we aren’t even dating, what do you mean where are we heading?’ chat, it’s more crucial and necessary than any of them.
Not only is getting tested a must-do, clearing the air when you’re with a new partner can give you both that sense of comfort that isn’t found when you’re secretly wondering whether they have the herp.
So while it’s not ideal, ensuring both of you get checked for an STI is a must. Here’s how to go about it without anyone crying or hiding under the couch.
Make it a team activity
The first time I ever went for an STI check-up, I decided to go with two of my good mates. Everything went smoothly and afterwards, we threw a ‘we got tested’ party to pat ourselves on the back.
You don’t have to be as lame as we were, but you could suggest to your partner to go get tested together and then do something fun afterwards. Do they like bowling? Yelling at kids in a park? Claiming other people’s baggage at the airport? Figure out what they love and use it.
Casually mention it while watching TV
The beauty about television, aside from providing literal decades of pure entertainment/education/awkward sex scenes when your parents walk into the room, is that there’s always a scene that reflects your day-to-day life.
If you’ve ever caught wind of shows like Broad City, they very openly discuss normal topics, like STIs. Use that as a segue to ask your partner about getting your own check-ups. It won’t seem so out of the blue or forced.
Tell ’em that you want to get checked
Instead of going on the offensive and telling your fresh date that they need to have a check-up, drop the hint that you’re going to do it regardless.
If your partner’s anything like me, they’ll get super childish and want to do it as well just because you are. If they’re more mature but also more reluctant, ask them if they would like to come along with you and explain why they should.
Explain to them that it’s not an option
Alright, if your new partner is that reluctant to get tested, that’s concerning. It’s not necessarily a red flag, but it’s definitely a maroon flag. Everyone should want to get tested for their own safety/peace of mind, so it shouldn’t even be a question really.
This is how the conversation should ideally go:
“Wanna get tested?”
“Yeah sweet, when shall we go?”
In saying that, people may be reluctant for a bunch of reasons. Fear, mainly. Just ask them casually – without attacking them – why they are hesitant, and go from there. Ultimately though, you’ll both get tested sooner rather than later.
To find out why it’s so crucial, hit up Queensland Health Stop the rise of STIs website here.
