The UK are full-blown weirdos when it comes to porn. In 2014, the country implemented a a long list of sex acts that are not allowed to be included in pornography that’s produced in the UK, including female ejaculation, spanking and “water sports”.
Because in England, if you want to watch the internet sex, it must be what an outdated government official deems to be nice sex. I mean, many would consider a bit of friendly urine between consenting adults to be very nice.
In an attempt to peer even further into the private lives of their citizens, a law currently in review would require British porn sites implement stronger age verification measures, including a unique viewer identification number that would effectively create a big, filthy government database of the entire country’s porn habits. Crikey.
The legislation is part of a broader bill called the Digital Economy Bill and includes some other, seemingly unrelated proposals such as improved data sharing across government departments, a minimum download speed for all internet users and tougher penalties for prank phone callers – the real criminals.
While the porno ID is spruiked as a protection measure for children, it comes with a suite of fucked up consequences for those that enjoy watching the horny internets. For starters, it would be a prime target for hackers looking to score some juicy dirt on pretty much anyone. Imagine the consequences of having your porno preferences revealed to the public, particularly if you are in a position of authority. That’s bad. Could always be worse though. Remember what happened when everyone found out Prime Minister David Cameron put his dick in a pig’s mouth?
Secondly, a simple VPN would easily bypass the security measure in the same way they’re popularly used to circumvent the geoblocking implemented by Netflix. Any 15-year-old with intermediate computer knowledge could set this up quicker than you could say “blimey, governor! Where’s me bloomin’ piss-porn gone?”
Of course, the bill has attracted protest from those in the adult industry, as well as civil rights activists. Whether you believe there should be greater age verification or not, starting a huge fucking database of porno history is probably not the best way to go about it. British business partner for the Hungarian porn website Harriet Sugarcookie, Tommie MacDonald, says this type of action appears to singling out internet porn, where other mediums are not being regulated in the same way.
“In a video game, I can smash people’s heads in. Literary erotica is full of underage sex acts. Where do we draw the line?” he said. “Furthermore, the UK isn’t good at databases.” Databases: governments are bad at them.
The Open Rights Group of the UK is calling for compulsory sex education in schools that addresses pornography, relationships and how to deal with content that they find frightening or disturbing.
Rather than spend the fuck-tonne of cash required to implement the proposal, many global porn sites will likely block traffic from the UK altogether, according to MacDonald.
Source: Inverse.
Photo: American Pie.
