Literal billionaire couple Sam Gance and Janet Roach are having a big sook because they need to sell loads of expensive shit which won’t fit into their new Toorak mansion, which they purchased for about $43 million.
Thoughts, prayers, feelings and commiserations. Put your antique candelabras out in solidarity.
Per the Herald Sun, Chemist Warehouse founder Gance will be selling a truly ludicrous collection of items which includes art, furniture, carpets, mirrors and chandeliers through Gibson’s Auctioneers.
Former Real Housewives of Melbourne star Roach told the publication the auction brought a tear to her eye.
“[The] art we couldn’t fit into [the new] house … it wasn’t the right size,” she said.
“A lot of it makes you cry when it goes to auction.
“There’s this fabulous chandelier, but it only takes candles. [Sam] paid something ridiculous for it.”
Oh, to be filthy rich and mourning the sale of paintings which depict Elmo with his mouth agape, overcome with shock, covering the face of a human being. It’s a fantastic life for some, but some of us are too busy comparing egg prices at Woolies. Sorry!
For the curtain enthusiast, a stupendous collection of tassels and tiebacks will also be going under the hammer. From gold and blue to salmon and cream, there’s truly a tassel for everyone. If you don’t have curtains, don’t fret! Such decorative objects can also be used to wipe away your tears when your landlord performs the “exciting” act of increasing your rent.
If the thought of a good sphere sends you hog-wild then hold thy horses because Gance is selling not one, but two lots of balls. Purists will enjoy the group of 15 blown glass spheres in shades of teal, while this set of 10 “decoratively patterned” spheres is perfect for the more ornate ball-lover in your life. Maybe you can delicately roll them around on the floor like a medieval child playing with marbles because it’s the only form of entertainment you can afford thanks to the cozzie livs.
I think I speak on behalf of the nation when I say it was brave for these true blue Aussie battlers to share their heartbreaking story. Please keep them in your prayers.
