Prepare your finest shithouse hills hoist, because this week has brought us fortune in the form of silver. The Chats, those absolute knuckleheads from up north, have gone and released their own wine. Not just any old bottle of plonk, mind you, the scoundrels have gone and released a whole goon bag full of delicious nectar. The Chats goon. I repeat, The Chats GOON.
Created in collaboration with the newly-minted Built To Spill Wines and Delinquente Wine Co, the box of ratbag essence is a blend of wild fermented natural white grapes, bringing a bright and fruity slosher to the table right in time for summer.
The hoon goon apparently combines fruity fresh flavours of lemon, lychee, and melon on sipping – or guzzling straight into your gullet from the plastic teat – which sounds like the perfect pairing for a pub feed, a Friday smoko, or maybe a cheeky hot chook roll from the shops on a sunny Sunday arvo.
Either way, it’s a litre and a half of absolute menace extract, and I truly cannot wait to chuck some down my throat.
Eamon, The Chats’ lead singer and purveyor of the country’s finest bowl-cut-mullet, simply said “it’s fucken good” so I have no choice but to take his word for it.
Decorated lovingly by Struthless, who I’m sure has played a round or two of Goon Of Fortune himself, the boxes of gremlin goon will set you back a tidy $55 a pop, or if you want to pick up a fancy tea towel as well (for spillage reasons) it’ll cost you a very nice $69.
The Chats Goon & Tea Towel – $69 (nice)
This collab with the bastard boys of Brisbane is just the start of a bunch of Aussie artist projects from Built To Spill Wines. Owner and founder Tai Tate (ex Porteño, Mary’s, P&V) has confirmed that another muso booze is dropping next week.
