Table For 2s: A Poop Café Is Opening In Canada For Actual Shits & Giggles

Nothing better than a big ol’ stinking pile of turd – that’s our take.

But if you’re not into poos and/or the art of pooping, then you might find the news that a poop-themed café is opening in Canada later this year a touch…disturbing.

Yes, the aptly named Poop Café is opening sometime soon in Toronto. The theme is poo. The decorations? Poo. The seats? Poo-holders (toilets). The food? Not poo, but honestly we wouldn’t be surprised if it was all high-fibre stuff to make you – you guessed it! – poo.

Owner and chef Lien Nguyen says the aim of her poopy eatery (a poopeatery!) is to “make poop cute”, and is not in anyway meant to be a place that ONLY sells food disguised as poop.

^ this is not the actual food on offer.

Actually, it looks like Nguyen got a bit shirty with all the ‘OMG WTF THERE’S A POOP CAFE WHAAAAT????‘ coverage, because she posted this clarification message to FB:

But while customers might not be eating poo-like things, they will very much be sitting on toilet seats to eat their non-poopy meals. And tbqh, that sounds more unappetising than eating a bowl of chocolate “pretend poop” mousse in the first place.

Is the toilet seat too warm? Is it too cold? Or is it just right??? (No, obviously.)

In the name of “making poop cute”, the café does feature these pretty adorable poop illustrations complete with fun facts about ya dookies. You know, like the fact that your poo is 75% water. Is it true? No idea! But it sure looks fun and #highly #shareable on the wall there, don’t you think?

Mmmmm, smell the virality.

If the success of Poop Café could be judged on media attention alone, then this place would already have it in the bag.

But that is not the world we live in. At the end of the day, hospitality business success is determined by cash flow and bums on (toilet) seats, so unless there’s a hitherto-undiscovered community of poop aficionados in Toronto, we give this one the life-span of however long it takes for the food blogger stream to die.

Final take: it won’t be a floater.

Photos: Facebook / Poop Café.