As part of their master plan for total world domination, Apple have decided to release their very own credit card that’s made of titanium for the most boujee of us. But it turns out the titanium card isn’t quite as strong as the name suggests, because apparently you should avoid contact with denim or leather, according to Apple Insider.
*looks questionably at my bank card that permanently rattles around in the bottom of my filthy handbag* yep… sure.
Even if you’re not a total plebeian like me and you keep your bank card in a *checks notes* wallet, this card still isn’t safe because that leather wallet will probably wreak havoc on your new card too.
Now that the very aesthetically pleasing card is finally making its way into the hands of customers, Apple have released some information regarding cleaning and caring for your card.
Apparently it requires cleaning and care, so you’re basically adopting a child at this point.
The “How to clean your Apple Card” document can be found on the Apple Website and will give you the 411 on keeping that fancy card looking schmick.
If your card gets dirty, Apple recommends using a slightly damp microfibre cloth to wipe it clean, very gently. But if you manage to absolutely soil it on a night out, don’t go reaching for the Spray N Wipe because Apple has already warned against it.
“Don’t use window or household cleaners, compressed air, aerosol sprays, solvents, ammonia, or abrasives to clean your titanium Apple Card,” the website reads.
The crisp white design reminds me of the glossy white Macbook that they discontinued a few years ago that I adored. But unfortunately that gorgeous white coating isn’t very durable, so you should avoid denim and leather (and being a fashionable human, apparently) to protect that card from stains.
But the cleaning isn’t even the juicy part. Sit down and buckle up because the storage part is a wild ride.
Basically, they suggest keeping the card in its own pouch (like a sunglasses pouch I imagine). Apple warns against placing your card with other cards, keys or loose change to avoid scratching. So maybe this product isn’t right for me.
You also should avoid putting the card near magnets, but I’m fairly certain that’s a standard rule for all cards because you can demagnetise the strip (if you still swipe your card like a neanderthal).
Obviously, Twitter went wild as soon as the care instructions were released.
So Apple brought out a credit card that isn't meant to be kept in your wallet or in your Jean's pocket? Good thing those aren't usually places you keep cards then ????????
— pw (@paulwyld91) August 22, 2019
Apple made y'all this card just to turn around and sell you the wallet for it next month. #StayWoke
— Sleepy T (@TerriYockee) August 22, 2019
— Jaymee Fletcher (@JaymeeFletcher) August 22, 2019
Avoid eating, sleeping, breathing and wearing clothes near your Apple Card, transport it in a Popemobile in maglev suspension. Clean only using a micro fibre cloth made of wooly mammoth hairs and infused with dodo feather oil. https://t.co/mdc24VrXxu
— Imraan Sathar (@imy) August 22, 2019