WATCH: QLD Woman Busted Sneaking Festy Hair Into Half-Eaten Restaurant Dish

Is there anything as alluring as the promise of a free meal? It’s what motivates us to help our acquaintances move house, fill out boring consumer information surveys that will probably sell our details on the Russian black market, line up for hours at burrito shops and consume literal gallons of pho. 

But at what point does the prospect a free meal become so enticing that it compels you to pluck a hair from your very own head, place it in the food, and then cry health and safety?

Apparently at the point where you also think you’re dining with the Duchess of Netherlands, which is what this particular guest told Brisbane‘s Casa Nostro Ristorante when she made her booking. 

When the two women arrived at the Fortitude Valley establishment, they immediately made things difficult for staff, attempting the kind of intricate (and price-dodging) menu reshuffle that tends to tip a chef’s standard simmering fury over into full-blown, cleaver-throwing rage. Or, as Sarah Biuso, one of the co-owners of the venue, put it to the Courier Mail: 

(Gentle Mrs Biuso). 

Apparently unsatisfied when the restaurant wouldn’t combine an entree and a main for the price of one meal, the patron in question ate three-quarters of her meal, pulled a strand of hair from her own head, put it on the plate, added salt and oil, and then complained about it.

How do we know all of this? 

Because Casa Nostro has CCTV and Instagram and the presence of mind to gift us with this, the most perfectly narrated Busted video in the history of the world:

The Customer Is Always Right hey?????? Look what we, and other food business owners have to deal with on a regular basis. We work hard every single day to give our customers an amazing experience in our restaurant and then you find people like this who decide to try and blackmail us for a hair in their meal. As you can see, she put her own hair in the plate, stirred it around and insisted the waiter remove it from her as she was so offended. FYI they tried to pretend it was a man and woman, but it was two women and both wrote a review. We could see 101% it was the customers hair and that is the reason why we did not remove this dish from the bill. Because we did not remove the dish from the bill, they told us explicitly that they would post bad reviews on Trip Advisor, which they did. Trip Advisor has a no blackmail policy for reviews and if you inform them in advance, they say they will not post them. Ummm no, we emailed them on the night this happened saying the customers threatened us with these bad reviews and we gave them easily identifiable information. Yep, you guessed it, the reviews are posted on Trip Advisor for all the world to see. Once again Trip Advisor publishes whatever they want for the world to see with no regards to the blood sweat and tears of business owners and our complete inability to control or withdraw fake and blackmailed reviews from these sites. Trip Advisor have been sued successfully in the past over similar incidents. Any other business owners have similar experiences and have had enough? We are in talks with our lawyer in regards to pursuing a case for defamation. Please share as much as possible to show the world what’s going on.

A post shared by Casa Nostra Ristorante (@casanostraristorante) on Mar 1, 2017 at 2:29am PST

The lesson? If you want a free meal, just offer to wash some dishes, or call in a favour from that mate you lent $20 to, or invite your mum out (you know she’ll pay even if you pretend-protest). Don’t just pull a strand out of your scrunchie and drop it on your penne, you animal.