Tourist Risks Life To Check Facebook, Absentmindedly Walks Off St Kilda Pier Into Ocean

A tourist oblivious to the laws of gravity and the dictates of common sense has narrowly escaped an encounter with her own fleeting stupidity after walking straight off the St Kilda Pier and into the ocean while browsing Facebook on her phone last night. ¯_(-_-)_/¯

According to Victorian Police, the woman was ambling along St Kilda Pier engrossed as we so often are in the captivating minutiae our social media feeds, probably checking in @ St Kilda Pier 7 Jacka Blvd • St Kilda, Victoria, Australia – feeling blessed 0:), when the ground fell out from underneath her and she was whisked off into Poseidon’s passive aggressive embrace at approximately 11.30pm AEDT. Tasting fear in the air and also not glued to their smartphone screen, a nearby witness sounded the alarm and alerted water police to the predicament of the floundering woman, who it’s believed did not know how to swim yet had somehow managed to manoeuvre herself about 20 metres from her point of entry. 

The woman was soon after taken to hospital for treatment. Reports Fairfax: “The phone was fine.” 
“There will be no need for a lost property report as the woman kept hold of her mobile phone throughout the entire ordeal,” Police eye-rolled in a #SMDH statement. 
via Fairfax
Photo: Scott Barbour via Getty

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