The Peach Emoji No Longer Looks Like An Ass & Online Root Rats Are Furious

The peach, though? The peach was always ass. It’s an ass. The peach is an ass, and the eggplant is a dick. There’s no bones about it – when you want to text someone about either ass or dick in a sexual context, the peach and eggplant emojis were always there for you. Look at it!

With iOS 10 and its minor emoji tweaks – like the gun being turned into a plastic pistol – people started to realise that Apple either doesn’t know or doesn’t give a shit about the complex language of emoji. This has been reinforced in the beta version of iOS 10.2 where the sexless virgin nerds at Apple have replaced the peach with something that doesn’t even look like an ass at all.

Look at this thing. It is an abomination:

Look at this abomination. It means nothing – it is signifier and no sign. Fang that one through during a hot and heavy sexting session and I guarantee you the thirst will immediately cease. Nobody is getting horny over this emoji.

As you might expect, the toey horndogs of the internet are not keen:

omg no. they are killing the butt shaped peach emoji

how are we going to text about booties

— Genevievil @ MTL (@gankstrr) November 1, 2016

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????SAVE THE PEACH BUTT

— Aminatou Sow (@aminatou) November 1, 2016

If they screw around with ?????? I’m gonna lose my shit https://t.co/FhZfQPRSm3

— Rachel Kurzius (@Curious_Kurz) November 1, 2016

Apple: fix it. Return the ass. Give us the ass again. And while you do, spare a thought for LG smartphone users. This is what they have to deal with.