Disturbing news that will vigorously crush any faith in humanity you desperately clung to has emerged from Italy over the weekend, as it has been reported that the smallest pony in the world has been kidnapped from a horse fair in Citta di Castello. While the identities of the kidnappers are unknown, Pedestrian can confirm that they are most definitely MONSTERS, because – they kidnapped the smallest horse in the world.
The news has delivered a double blow to people across the world, as it introduced us to the adorable little guy, an IRL Li’l Sebastian named Charlie, only to swiftly turn us hysterical by the fact that the 63 cm horse we just figuratively met had been figuratively snapped from our adoring embraces.
The Mail Online are reporting that Italian police believe the mafia are holding Charlie for ransom, which is both terrifying and incredibly clever, because who the heck wouldn’t pay whatever necessary to bring this precious lamb back?
The details of the kidnapping have been reported as, “the horse thieves snipped a wire fence surrounding the fairgrounds, grabbed the miniature pony and made off through a nearby tobacco field where a car was waiting to speed them away.” A spokesperson from the horse fair said that Charlie was “so easy to transport” because he “is so small, like a dog.”
I swear to Li’l Sebastian: you cannot make this stuff up. News.com.au today laments on the story that will rock the Equine/Minitaure Pony Lovers’ world like never before: “No word yet from the thieves. Seriously guys, quit horsing around. Bring Charly [sic] back.”
Meanwhile, as we wait for Charlie to return, make like Ron Swanson and show some respect:
Via news.com.au
