Shakespeare wrote of Cleopatra: age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety, but the words could just as easily have applied to the enduringly fabulous Barbie®. (This is partly because she is created from made-to-last synthetic materials.) The well oiled and impressively large-scale Barbie® press team has released the exciting news that she – the most fully-realised fictional character outside Game Of Thrones – will be visiting Australia this month.
Barbie (full name Barbara Millicent Roberts) has an Australian itinerary befitting any major international superstar that is comparable to lesser celebrity visitors like Oprah and Ellen DeGeneres. A staple on the international fashion scene (no kidding – she closely follows Paris, London and New York, which you’ll note on her personal Pinterest profile), Barbs will bring some extra star power to the front row at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Australia.
To give you an idea of how utterly insane/brilliant the Barbie marketing juggernaut really is, you should also know that – as confirmed in the New York Times – Barbie is selling her famed Malibu Dreamhouse (the pink monstrosity that’s been the source of crippling pre-teen envy for generations) and is moving for the first time ever – possibly to Australia!?
Legitimate property website RealEstate.com has already proposed five new ‘dream houses’ for Barbie to inspect while Down Under, and a legitimate high-end American agent is working on the sale of the Dreamhouse, currently priced at $25,000,000.
Mattell and Barbie are basically in on the greatest, most elaborate act of trolling the world has ever seen.