Halloween is in a week. How. This year is a joke.
If you’re gearing up for a weekend ~bash~ to celebrate the ghoulish day/pagan celebration or whatever it originally was (no one cares), you’re probably spending important work hours today frantically Googling costume ideas.
There are two goals on Halloween. You either want the sexiest costume possible for max chances of getting laid, or you want the most original, witty one. If you’re in the former category – fuck trying to be original because everyone knows some form of cheerleader (murdered cheerleader/zombie cheerleader/mutant cheerleader) is your best bet. Backup plan – cat. Guys, just find anything you can go as minus a shirt. Done. Sorted.
However, if you want everyone to stop you and marvel at your originality like the attention-seeking jerk you are – Google has your back. They’ve dropped the most searched-for Halloween costumes for 2017, so basically this is everything you need to avoid like it’s the actual plague, because you can bet your sweet bippy at least 10 other people are going to rock up to whatever party you’re at wearing variations of these.
WONDER WOMAN
It was one of the biggest films of the year, of course it’s gonna trend.
HARLEY QUINN
People are still frothing on Harley Quinn, apparently.
CLOWN
https://www.instagram.com/p/BakihSLnLbO/?tagged=clown
Chalk this up to the ‘It’ reboot.
UNICORN
I’m pretty sure everyone is googling more for the glittery, colourful unicorn costume ideas and not these bloody fantastic balloon things. Someone do this, please.
RABBIT
https://www.instagram.com/p/BaNBp1wBIIt/?tagged=rabbitcostume
Rabbits? Really?
MOUSE
Well, yeah. Mice are the go-to sexy costume, c/o this iconic Mean Girls moment.
WITCH
https://www.instagram.com/p/BaiUFuAH3xU/?tagged=hocuspocus
Witches are always a Halloween staple, but I reckon it’s the Hocus Pocus gals everyone’ll be channelling for 2017, after the reboot talks.
PIRATE
Boys, this is your prime opportunity to be shirtless and grow a sleazy mo’. Ladies – corsets are really uncomfortable so just remember that.
ZOMBIE
Zombies = good because literally anything can be a zombie. Go as a sleepy one so you can wear pyjamas.
DINOSAUR
Why is this T-Rex costume everywhere? Why do I have the feeling there will be at least one at every Aussie Halloween party this weekend?
PRINCESS
TBQH if I had a light-up princess dress, My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding-style – I’d probably wear it to every Halloween too.
MOANA
I’m thinking this one’s trending because kids are unoriginal and all get obsessed with the same movie each year. 2017’s Frozen? Moana.
NINJA
https://www.instagram.com/p/BMQgUo7jG2O/?tagged=ninjacostume
Who knew – there’s a shitload of “sexy ninja” costumes on the internet. Also – a chance to just pull out everything black in your wardrobe and pretend you tried.
SUPERHERO
Just ANY superhero? Literally any one at all? Come on.
MERMAID
I’m going to ignore the obvious question of how the hell do you even get into a party if you dress as a mermaid and just focus on the fact that there’s apparently a whole Aussie community of real, professional mermaids, including this legend.
IT
Well, it WAS the biggest horror release of the year.
MONSTER
Hot costume tip for someone – go as the Mammee Noodles monster. Bring Mammee noodles as party snacks.
BATMAN
This makes no sense – he’s a GOOD guy. You can’t go as good people on Halloween.
VAMPIRE
https://www.instagram.com/p/BBngcu3Rb45/?tagged=vampirecostume
Quelle surprise.
DOLL
NO DO NOT. NO ONE DO THIS. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE DRESS UP AS A DOLL, IT’S TOO FUCKING TERRIFYING. IF YOU IGNORE ME I’LL PERSONALLY COME AND KICK YOU IN THE SHIN.
There’s loads more over on Google Frightgeist, hit ’em up here.
