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Friends, nobody likes sweaty anything, let alone a swampy crotch. Absolutely nobody! This is why we come bearing good news, Dyson, the inventors of the cult famous sucky bois, are having a ‘uuuuge end of year sale on everything from fans and air purifiers to vacuums and hair tools.

It’s offering some fkn wild discounts and bonuses like up to $400 off vacuums, $100 off fans, $200 off their famed hair straightener and more. We’re sensing a little “to me, from me” gift is on the cards.

Dyson’s Slinging Up To $400 Off Its Famous Sucky Bois If Yr Sick Of Crumbies Underfoot
Me begging my family to buy me a Dyson for Xmas.

I’ll tell you this for free: the last time Dyson had a sale this bloody good, they got sucked up faster than I fell in love with the last fuck boi I dated, so you better get in quick, mates. Score yourself a hefty discount. You bloody deserve it.

Keep reading to shop those hefty discounts on Dyson fans, purifiers, vacuums and more.

Dyson Purifying Fan Sales

Dyson’s Slinging Up To $400 Off Its Famous Sucky Bois If Yr Sick Of Crumbies Underfoot

Dyson Pure Cool TP00 was $599, now $499 (save $100)

Dyson Stick Vacuum Sales

Dyson Sale

Dyson V8 Absolute Cordless Vaccum was $999, now $599

Dyson Hair Tool Sales

Dyson’s Slinging Up To $400 Off Its Famous Sucky Bois If Yr Sick Of Crumbies Underfoot

Dyson Corrale hair straightener was $699, now $594

There’s a reason people (me, I’m people) rave about how their lives were changed after copping a Dyson. It is semi-cult-ish, but we get it. If you’ve never had the cash to invest in a Dyson, now’s the time to take the plunge.

This post has been updated since its original publication. 

Image: Key and Peele / Dyson