Alright folks, the 23rd Annual Critics’ Choice Award happened today, and some of your faves made some bold-ass choices on the red (er, blue) carpet.
Ever since that toxic mix of “worst-dressed lists” and “the internet” came into our lives, celebs have been making safer and safer fashion choices. Björk‘s iconic swan-dress at the 2001 Academy Awards was only last year recognised for the artwork it is. What can we say? People prefer ballgowns.
But nobody could accuse the Critics’ Choice this year of being a snooze-fest, so take a gander at some of the looks.
MCKENNA GRACE, slaying her 11-year-old self. Do they make this dress in adult sizes? Because there’s about three weddings I could wear this to.
JAIMIE ALEXANDER, taking the mullet trend to extremes. I don’t know what’s going on with the texture of her dress but I want to touch it. Hair / earrings / eyebrows are perf.
OCTAVIA SPENCER, in a stunning purple gown that looks like it’d swish in motion. Props for finding a sheer lace dress that accommodates big boobs, no easy feat.
HEIDI KLUM, looking fabulous as ever. A smidge on the boring side but we’ll forgive her because she pulls off ‘goddess’ so freaking well.
SEAN ASTIN, doing three piece black with a black tie and a boy band haircut. Samwise Gamgee could rock up in a garbage bag and it would still be fine by me because he saved Middle Earth.
[CHARACTER ACTRESS] MARGOT MARTINDALE, dressed in the comfiest-looking fancy clothes I’ve ever seen. This is showing up to your funeral, eating the buffet and taking a nap clothes. This is living.
CHRISSY METZ saying a big “fuck you” to any fashion critic who’s ever said curvy women should avoid bright colours and stripes and donning both. She looks fab. Bet the dress is beautiful in motion, too.
CARRIE COON, looking like a sartorial interpretation of the Japanese flag? IDK, into it. She looks like a queen. (Full disclosure, not a fan of the shows but YOU DO YOU CARRIE.)
SARAH HYLAND, going ballerina chic. That shade of red lippy is just the *chef kissy fingers* of this whole look, tbh.
JAY PHAROAH, in somehow the perfect shade of browny-gold jacket.
DAVID HARBOUR, in an extremely 80s dark red tuxedo. Fitting for a dude from Stranger Things, really.
LILREY HOWERY, continuing this dope jacket trend with this lil’ teal number. Into it.
KATE BOSWORTH, looking like she should be gracing the cover of ‘Chicest Wedding Magazine’ for every issue from now until the day she dies.
JOE KEERY, making the bold choice to bring his Strange Things mullet to the award shows. He looks confused about this decision. Own it, Joe. Do it for Steve.
ASIA KATE DILLON repping Black Lives Matter and making it stylish as hell. Everything about their look is just phenomenal imo.
GAL GADOT, pulling off slicked back hair / a weird waist-line. I know she’s objectively one of the most attractive people alive but at the same time, power to her for dressing like a little silver statue mixed with a 70s disco curtain. Also, you can’t see it here, but she has a little silver ring in the cartilage of her left ear and my early 20s self loves it.
ANGELINA JOLIE manages to make white feathers look stylish, because of course she does, and activist / author of First They Killed My Father, LOUNG UNG, looking utterly fab. I love that they complement each other’s outfits and genuinely look like mates. Nobody ruin this fantasy, okay?
KUMAIL NANJIANI & EMILY V. GORDON, being a cute lil couple who happened to screenwrite one of 2017’s best movies together, which also happened to be about their relationship. Nothing but respect for MY joint presidents.
NATALIA DYER, getting the floor-length floral memo and making it cool with a severe side part and a fuck-off stare.
ELIZABETH CHAMBERS & ARMIE HAMMER, looking unfairly attractive. This look isn’t exactly bold (more ‘look how conventionally attractive we are), but I wanted to included this so I could throw in a special pro-tip, from me to you: this pic is IDEAL to photoshop your face over Elizabeth’s to perpetuate your ‘married-to-Armie-Hammer’ fantasies. I refuse to believe it’s just me who has these.
RUPAUL in the best goddamn jacket this awards show has ever seen. Put it in a museum. Hang it in the Lourve. And only RuPaul could pull off wearing glasses that have just a hint of speed dealer. Love it.
YVONNE STRAHOVSKI, looking… fine? Not a huge fan tbh but she went short when almost everyone else goes long, so props there. And her hair / shoes are fab.
STERLKING K. BROWN & RYAN MICHELLE BATHE a.k.a. mum and dad. Can you adopt me? I’ll send the papers over this afternoon THANKS.
AUDREY MOORE, going goth glam. I’m getting strong Angelina Jolie vibes here, and I dig it.
SKYLER SAMUELS, looking flawless in a floor-length, strong-shouldered, red, lacy number with some 50s rolls. And those EYES. (The ones on her waist, not on her face, but also those too, I guess.) Incredible.
JESSICA BIEL, wearing a dress that has everything going on at once and somehow pulling it off.
ALLISON WILLIAMS, looking like a mix of Tilda Swinton as the White Witch and Rosie Leslie in Game of Thrones and nailing the combo. Flawless landing. 10/10.
EMMA ROBERTS, going for the short fringe and dangly earrings look first debuted by Anna in The OC. She looks like a dream, tbqh with you.
KIERNAN SHIPKA, pulling off this candy-coloured, highly structured look that would be bold even without the fish scale-patterned capris. Very early 00s, but fuck it, even that trainwreck of a fashion decade is ready for a come-back.
TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET, smiling like he didn’t make me bawl for days on end over Call Me By Your Name. Yeah, keep grinning, pretty boy. Call me when my heart stops bleeding.
AZIZ ANSARI, continuing his steady stream of ‘cutest dude working in television’. This deep red suit is just the perfect balance of fun and classy, which is Aziz all over, really.
JESSICA CHASTAIN, a.k.a. a goddess. Whoever matched that exact shade of green to her hair deserves a humungous raise. Perfection.
LAURA DERN, continuing to rep black / be my style icon for the next several decades.
REESE WITHERSPOON, also repping black, also matching Emilia Clarke with the ‘dotty black dress’ look right behind her there. She looks a little bit like a Christmas present here and that is in no way a bad thing.
ALISON JANNEY, continuing her decades-long career of straight-up perfection.
PATRICK SCHWARZENEGGER, looking like he’s (rightly) asking us why we haven’t been talking about Patrick for years.
And finally, BROOKLYNN PRINCE & JACOB TREMBELY looking painfully cute. Someone’s baby photos at their 21st are going to be better than others, that’s for sure.Image: Getty