You’d laugh if you weren’t crying, unless you can do both, then you are free to both laugh and cry. The same sex marriage debate in Australia is absurd by virtue of its own existence: it’s 2016 and we’re still working this shit out while the rest of the world laughs at us – and not just because of the hats with the corks on them.
While Canada mocks us with their perfect, beautiful pride-marching hunk Prime Minister, we’re stuck with a cowardly millionaire with extremely small teeth who we briefly considered to be very handsome just because the guy that came before him looked like (and was) a complete wingnut.
The major parties, who only a few years ago were both staunchly against same-sex marriage, are now extremely ineptly (one much more ineptly than the other) using it as a political football to try and win back us, the youf. In short: it fucking sucks.
But at least, occasionally, between the sobs, we get some laughs out of it – like Marriage Alliance‘s completely inspired idea to give “the gays” their own version of marriage, appropriately dubbed “garriage”.
It’s a clever (editor’s note: not clever) portmanteau of “gay” and “marriage”, and coincidentally also the way people from the UK pronounce “garage”.
Regardless of how gross the word is, the intent is even more gross: to give queer people a shittier version of marriage so that we don’t gay up the straight one.
Marriage Alliance’s Sophie York said that was just one of the terms tendered, with “unism” and “pairage” also on the table, both of which sound like the name of one of those 1960s cults where everyone wore robes and had sex with each other – frankly I’m down.
Watch York whip out the word “complimentarity”, which against my first instincts turns out to be an actual word:
Photo: Vimeo.
