The Philadelphia Eagles Upset Pissbaby Tom Brady To Win Super Bowl LII

Bloody hell, what a freakin’ game! The Philadelphia Eagles have claimed their first-ever Vince Lombardi Trophy by winning Super Bowl LII in a hellacious, gripping game against Tom Brady and the undeniable New England Patriots.

Football-loving sphincters around the world contracted en masse as the Patriots gained a slight fourth-quarter lead, and the contracted again when Brady and the Patriots took possession of the ball, down just five points, with two and a half minutes remaining on the game clock.

But a forced fumble on Brady, the first Patriots quarterback has allowed in his past 20 post-season games, that swung momentum back to Philly. Peep this for a goddamned play.

Extending their lead to 8 thanks to a field goal, the Eagles forced the Patriots to simply run out of time, with not even Tom Brady able to cover 91 yards in 58 seconds on the final drive of the game, with the Eagles running out winners by a score of 41 – 33.

Philadelphia is, as you’d imagine, losing its ever-loving mind right now, with the city’s other pro-sports franchises getting in on the celebrations for the Eagles’ first ever NFL championship.

Unbelievably, journeyman backup quarterback Nick Foles is now a Super Bowl MVP, taking home best-on-ground honours for his 373-yard, 3-touchdown effort.

Fans back in Philadelphia have already gone bananas, with scores flooding the city’s main drag Broad Street in celebration. The team hadn’t even hoisted the trophy yet and it was already chaos.