The New Air Jordans Are Ugly-Ass Shoes

I usually refrain from commenting on fashion. It’s not my forte and I’m loathe to come off as one of those “kids these days” grumpy dudes. Even though, back in my day we respected our elders, wore our best on Sundays, and spoke when spoken to, I’ll usually let the kids slide with their new trends and lairy haircuts. Usually.

But seriously, the new XX8 Air Jordans are the WORST. Futuristic if you’re guessing what the future looked like in the 80’s, the basic design concept seems to center around taking a gaudy alien vomit green fluro shoe and encasing it in an ugly lycra zip up case. Like a cross between moon boots and surfer booties, they’re going to look pretty silly on the court (or anywhere, really). A warning to any prospective buyers, they pretty much scream “roll me in the next dark alley because I’ve got a wallet full of cash that I’m just going to spend on dumb shit anyway.”  Proceed with caution.

Oh yeah, and they have purple souls. 

Stealth being the appropriate word. You’d hope no one can see you coming (or going or doing anything) when you’re wearing these puppies.

 Picture via @DarrenRovell