Surprise! The Commonwealth Games began last night. It’s alright if you somehow didn’t realise it was on. It kind of crept up on us too. Look, it’s a very busy period in terms of major sporting events, ok? We’ve got a lot going on.
Long story short, the traditional gathering of the Queen‘s favourite nations to athletically compete against one another sans-most of the world’s best athletes opened for the 20th time overnight in Glasgow, Scotland. The opening ceremony was a typically subdued affair, particularly when compared to Danny Boyle‘s lavish “Let’s turn Olympic Stadium into a giant fucking tea party” opening ceremony at the London Olympics two years ago.
Rather than “jump” out of a plane, Queen Elizabeth simply entered the arena in much more formal, Royal fashion, accompanied by her always present husband/everyone’s favourite rude uncle Prince Phillip, whilst Susan Boyle sang the traditional “Mull of Kintyre” in a moment so quintessentially British that teapots nationwide spontaneously steeped.
Also, Rod Stewart sang in a semi-regular public appearance to remind the public that he remains, for the moment, alive.
But all of that really counts for naught, as the real highlight of the ceremony was the little furry legends leading each nation into the arena. A troupe of 41 Scotty Dogs – some pulling double duty, and presumably getting paid Schmackos at penalty rates for it – lead the athletes into Celtic Park, one nation at a time.
Look!
Naww!
Look at that little shaggy fella!
And this guy! With his super low tum!
Would you believe it! A Scotty Dog leading Scotland in! If his name isn’t Jock I’ma flip shit.
And hey! How about that! Our own little Aussie dog! C’arn mate. Give us a wave.
N… no, not… not you old timer… I… I meant… y’know, the dog…. ah, screw it.
The Commonwealth Games of 2014 runs for the next 11 days. You can catch all the action on Channel Ten. Though there will be no dog-related events so honestly what’s the bloody point.
Photos: Ben Stansall, Chris Jackson, Paul Gilham and Andrej Isakovic via Getty Images.
