Let’s face it: the closest most of us will ever get to being an Olympic athlete is by finding ourselves naked underneath them. Being an Olympic athlete takes grit, determination, hard work, and a little bit of genetic luck, but banging an Olympic athlete really only takes a bit of luck.
If this happens to be you over the next eight weeks, it is imperative now more that ever that you practice safe sex, thanks to a little something called the Zika virus.
Health Minister Sussan Ley has reminded our returning Olympic athletes that if they want to get sweaty doing the naked gymnastics (sex), then they’d do well to chuck on a swimmer’s cap (condom) lest they accidentally give birth to small-headed babies (Zika).
“There is a small chance that Zika is transmitted through sexual activity, so Australians returning from Brazil should use condoms or avoid unprotected sex for at least eight weeks,” she said. “That’s the advice of our chief medical officer.”
She advised anyone returning from Rio – athletes or no – to see a doctor if they felt unwell, particularly if they or their partner were pregnant / planning on becoming pregnant over the next eight weeks.
“There have been 44 confirmed cases of the Zika virus identified in Australia this year and all were acquired overseas,” she said. Don’t let your doinking session be the one that ruins it for all of us.
Photo: Getty / Paul Gilham.