In a sport where striking the ball with your head is literally part of the rules, a true Falcon is a very rare thing indeed. But when it happens, it’s a sight to behold. Particularly when it happens at the World Cup.
Last night’s (frankly farcical) group stage match between England and Belgium was notable for two things: The first being the clusterfuck of a first half where both teams exhibited about as much energy as a flat tyre. The second being the Belgian goal celebrations after Adnan Januzaj‘s 51st-minute screamer.
Not because Januzaj’s celebrations were in any way memorable – fairly bog-standard World Cup fanfare, to be perfectly honest. Rather, it was notable for what Belgian striker Michy Batshuayi did in the background.
Batshuayi, being of sound mind and body, scooped the ball up after the goal, and proceeded to execute one of the most glorious, all-consuming, magnificent self-Falcons you’re ever likely to see.
It is resplendent. It is magnanimous. It is a ball going whack into he got dang face!
Here that is again in all its close-up, slow-motion splendour.
Oh yes. Oh yes. That’s the good gear right there, mates. The real good, good, good, real good shit.
Ordinary players might just take the L and slink off into the good night.
Ordinary players might try and laugh it off as nothing and try to downplay it.
Ordinary players might simply try to claim they actually meant to do it.
Michy Batshuayi is not an ordinary player.
Now that’s how you own braining yourself on the scone on the biggest stage of all.
The areas. They are all good.