Thank goodness for the Kangaroos. As a proud sporting nation with a great deal of emotional capital invested in our Trans-Tasman rivalry, last night’s victory by the Kangaroos over the Kiwis ensured one of our last sporting strangleholds over our brothers and sisters across the ditch remind intact. The Kiwis better at sport than us? You better believe it!
Olympics
Let’s break it down (and now in a James Brown kinda way because this shit is depressing). New Zealand, per capita, dominated Australia at the Olympics. While some of us took the opportunity to adopt NZ as our own, à la Crowded House, Kimbra, and Sav Blanc, some news services went as far as even failing to acknowledge they existed. Despite our latter games medal surge we can chalk up that one as NZ:1 Aus:0
Rugby Union
Well where do we start? What about the vastly superior Super Rugby franchises who have won 65% of all Super Rugby titles (leaving Australian AND South African teams to scrap it out for the remaining 35%). Or what about the all-conquering All Blacks who have retained the Bledisloe Cup for the past 11 seasons. Add that to last year’s World Cup triumph, by way of sending the Wallabies packing in the semis, and a Tri/Quad Nation record that enjoys a similar win ratio to their Super Rugby dominance, the Wallabies are left chasing their tails as New Zealand put more runs on the board. NZ:2 Aus:0
Netball
Much like the rugby union, netball sees the Diamonds and the Silver Ferns at the top of the pile with a fierce rivalry that indicates as much. As with rugby league’s State Of Origin, our netballers partake in a yearly best of three tournament, the Constellation Cup. After 7 years of playing second fiddle to the Aussies (a very close second mind you), the Silver Ferns won this year’s tournament 2-1 and head into this month’s quad series against Australia, England, and South Africa as favourites. NZ:3 Aus:0
Cricket
At last! With Aussie cricket on the decline in all in all forms of the game (ok, we just received a T20 boost but with an 8th-place ranking there was only one direction we could go), we can always count on the Kiwis for a moral boosting win. With a winning percentage bellow 30% in all forms of the game, the Aussies can finally register some points. NZ:3 Aus:1
Basketball
In a token effort to create a league that we can call international, we often include NZ teams in our competitions. This has almost backfired in the NRL with the NZ Warriors actually making the grand final on two separate occasions. In the NBL it’s an unmitigated disaster with the NZ Breakers going back to back over the last two seasons. No wonder no one watches basketball. NZ:4 Aus:1
Rugby League
And finally we come to last nights game. A match that teetered on the verge of a Kiwi boil over for much of the contest until Kiwi Australian front rower James Tamou burst through the line, stepped the fullback and scored under the posts. We eventually won 18-10 with Tamou named players’ player. I don’t care if he wears jandles, keeps his drinks in a chillie bin, and sings “of beauty ruch and rare”, we’ll take it. The Kiwis robbed us of a World Cup four years ago. We have the chance for redemption next year. We must be ruthless. NZ:4 Aus:2
It’s a sobering scoresheet for fans across the country. Not since the LA 1984 have New Zealand out-Olympic’ed us and that prompted Australia to build the AIS! Where do we go from here? I could only speculate. For now we can enjoy a rare victory. Soak it up Australia. Next week the Wallbies are charged with the task of toppling an All Blacks team on the verge of completing a record breaking run of victories. Good luck with that!
Pictures by Getty Images
