Kangaroos are scary beings. They’re lovely, don’t get me wrong, but, just like Harry Styles, I love them from a distance.
Why, you ask? Because I’m well aware that a cheeky roo would absolutely pummel me if we went toe-to-toe in a fist war. He/she/they would cash me ousside before completely Mike Tyson‘ing my petty ass back into the dinosaur age.
To prove my point, check out this footage of two mighty roos absolutely pummelling each other on the road, subsequently forcing cars to just sit there and watch in amazement.
Get your popcorn at the ready, my friends. It’s a nail-biter. *Ding, ding*
When you're out for a drive in Australia, and fighting kangaroos are literally blocking the road. ???? pic.twitter.com/U32kR7V2Do— news.com.au (@newscomauHQ) August 28, 2019
What did y’all do to each other? Did one sleep with the other’s manses? Are their families in long-lasting wars à la the Montagues and Capulets? I mean, they really go for the jugular. Goddamn.
By the way, did you know female kangaroos have three vaginas? Completely unrelated, yes, but an incredible fact nonetheless. You’re so welcome.