GNARLY, DUDE: Gold Coast Surfer Body Slammed By Dickhead Dolphin

Surfing, man – what’s the appeal? Get up really early, put on a wetsuit you’ve probably never washed, take a giant hunk of fibreglass to the beach and attempt to stand upright while the ocean tries to dash you to pieces on a reef. If you’re lucky, someone might try to fight you for stealing their wave. 
Or if you’re REALLY lucky, an actual dolphin might leap from the glistening water like some fully-shaven WWE star and body slam you.

That’s what happened to Sam Yoon earlier this week at Duranbah. According to Yoon, he was having a nice time in the 2-metre swell, minding his own business while the jerks of the sea (dolphins) gambolled about him, when KABLAMMO:


“It appeared right in my face … I just couldn’t believe what happened,” he told Today this morning. 

“He landed on my head, shoulder and back. It was like full-on *makes universal “kapow” sign with his hands*.

“I was like, ‘Fuck, there’s no way I can get away from this.’”
In the dolphin’s defence, it clearly has an “OH SHIT” moment when its yiewin’ through the waves is interrupted by Yoon. Watch the video and imagine its train of thought:
Yeeeahhh WOO lovin it! Looove to jump! Loove to swim! Fucken love being a sentient dickhead who tortures other sea animals for fun! Fucken yiewww boys haha check this ou– AH FUCK WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

EW EW EW I TOUCHED IT

GUYS I TOUCHED IT
Meanwhile Yoon continues being a mad dog, as is surfers’ wont. His reaction to seeing the now-viral footage of him getting fully rekt by a flying cetacean? 
“Ahh, haha! You see that?!
Stay bodacious, Sam.
Source: Brisbane Times.
Image: 9NEWS. 

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