At this point, you’ve gotta take the small wins when they come up. In today’s case it’s the knowledge that Eddie McGuire has been denied entry into Western Australia for the AFL Grand Final at the end of the month. Please join us in a very hearty, straight-from-the-belly laugh at this, for it is simply stunning stuff.

The news was broken by Steve Price on Triple M Perth’s breakfast show on Wednesday morning, who told Basil Zempilas, Jenna Clarke and Xavier Ellis that he had received a text overnight from the Fox Footy commentator and former Collingwood club president.

“A bit of a whinge overnight in a text I got from an old friend of yours and mine, one Edward McGuire,” Price said.

“Said he’s not allowed in. I’m giving it to your first hand, I’ve got the text in front of me. ‘I expected to be in Perth. They won’t let me in.'”

Social media lit the fuck up when the news dropped from the west coast, with plenty of people taking it as today’s small win in what’s been a very trying few weeks (Months? Year and a bit??) with lockdowns and feeling like we’re collectively in a weird Groundhog Day type of existence.

The breakfast team later got Eddie on the blower, who confirmed that his travel exemption had been knocked back, and this year’s granny would be the first one he’s missed since 1976. Does that make this news even more delicious? Yes, yes it does.

Eddie said that he had offered up a “smorgasbord” of pre-game events and plans – from a Grand Final parade to producing an episode of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire in Perth – but was ultimately denied.

“I thought I could bring a bit of fizz to the occasion,” he said.

“You know, it’s not like I was the only media person trying to get in. But that’s okay.

“We had been speaking to everyone from Channel Nine, to Crown, to Fox Footy, to WA Tourism, to the Premier’s Department. I think it ended up getting to the WA Police Chief who put the cross there. That’s his job, that’s his call, and I respect that.”

Premier Mark McGowan weighed in on the matter on Mix 9.45 this morning, and said that Eddie wasn’t an essential part of the Grand Final contingency.

“He’s not essential for the game, he has to stay in Melbourne,” he said.

Ok Mark, now do Wayne Carey.

Image: Getty Images / Darrian Traynor