In fantastic news for naughty athletes who are hell-bent on bonking at the Tokyo Olympics, it turns out the alleged anti-sex beds are way sturdier than initially reported.
Last week, it was announced that the beds at the Tokyo Olympics are made out of recycled cardboard, in an effort to be more environmentally friendly.
Of course, the eco-message was completely lost in in the rabble after it was reported the beds were purposefully designed to stop athletes fucking. For COVID-safe reasons, obviously. Hence, the anti-sex beds.
This is the craziest story. In order to prevent Olympians from having sex, and thus risk spreading the Covid virus, beds at the Tokyo Olympic Village are made from cardboard so they collapse if more than one person gets on them! pic.twitter.com/RZKEPbcr4x— John Aravosis ????????????????????️???? (@aravosis) July 17, 2021
Reports said that because the beds were made of cardboard, they could only safely withstand the weight of one person, and would collapse if anyone jumped on them… or performed any other ~strenuous activity~. Except, that’s not actually true.
Well, in news that’ll give horny athletes an op to use the 160,000 condoms given to them, it turns out the anti-sex beds are not anti-sex at all.
The innovative cardboard structure was actually designed to be recyclable not just for the environment but also for disposability in case of a COVID-19 infection, and actually, the beds can hold up to 200kg.
A bunch of Olympic athletes jumped onto to Twitter, TikTok, and their beds to prove just how sturdy they really are.
“Anti-sex” beds at the Olympics pic.twitter.com/2jnFm6mKcB— Rhys Mcclenaghan (@McClenaghanRhys) July 18, 2021
Irish gymast Rhys McClenaghan posted a video of himself on Twitter just straight up jumping up and down on his bed, which didn’t even wobble.
@tillykearnsReply to @lifeofriley2 Beds in the Olympic village, YES they are made from cardboard ????♬ Dreams (2004 Remaster) – Fleetwood Mac
Aussie Stinger Tilly Kearns posted a TikTok video praising the Tokyo Olympics’ beds, saying that not only is the structure super sturdy, but the mattress is comfy and customisable, and that you can even get extenders for taller athletes.
Angel Dorado, an Olympic swimmer, launched himself with the violence of a breaching whale onto his bed in another TikTok video, and surprise! The bed did NOT collapse.
@angel.doradoPara los que tenían dudas de las camas … #olympics #tokyo #tokyp2021 #villa #Camas #swimming #intothethickofit #athlete♬ Into The Thick Of It! – The Backyardigans
So there you have it folks – it is absolutely possible to fuck on the Tokyo Olympics’ beds… not that I’m condoning it, of course… Unless? Nah, just kidding. Obviously.